Born Jesus

'Far East Side Story': Rival Buddhist monk gangs rumble in the street

2007-04-21T12:50:00.000-04:00

To dispel the myth that Buddhist monks sit around all day meditating on their navels, rival gangs of Vietnamese and Cambodian monks tried to put a little whoop-ass on each other in Cambodia on Friday. I can't help but think of the movie West Side Story when I think of these monks in flowing orange robes smacking each other around.

I don't even pretend to understand what their beef is with each other. You can read the story yourself, or just look at the pictures.

I hear ya snapping your fingers and singing to yourself, "When you're a Jet...." Me too.

Duh-NA-NA-na-nah....

Buddhism | Buddhist Monks | Vietnam | Cambodia | Religious Tolerance | Born Jesus

Miami pastor sports '666' tattoo; claims to be Antichrist, 'the best person in the world'

2007-04-19T15:21:00.000-04:00

Previously posted on Feb. 19. Moved back to the top to reflect the 4/19/07 update.

Just what we need, another reincarnation of Jesus Christ.

And of course, like the Original, this one is pissing off other religious leaders. He's already being compared to Jim Jones and David Koresh, though no one's drinking Kool-Aid® or marrying eleven-year olds quite yet.

Not only does Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda, or "Daddy" as his thousands of followers call him, sport a "666" tattoo, he claims to be God.

"The spirit that is in me is the same spirit that was in Jesus of Nazareth," de Jesus says.

The "mark of the devil" and a God-complex.... Ah, the Pharisees and Sadduces, the Catholics and the Baptists will all have a field day with this man. Already branded as a "cult-leader" by cult experts Rick Ross and Prof. Daniel Alvarez, de Jesus is poised to soon become famous. He has appeared on CNN's Anderson Cooper 360 [watch video on YouTube] recently, and NBC's Today Show (where he referred to himself as "Jesus Christ Man") several months ago. CNN published yet another article about him today.

De Jesus is proud of his 666 tattoo, saying not only has the Anti-Christ been misunderstood, but that he is the Anti-Christ. The Antichrist is not the devil, de Jesus tells his congregation; he's the being who replaces Jesus on Earth.

"Antichrist is the best person in the world," he says. "Antichrist means don't put your eyes on Jesus because Jesus of Nazareth wasn't a Christian. Antichrist means do not put your eyes on Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Put it on Jesus after the cross."

Apparently his particular "vision" is working. He was born poor in Puerto Rico 61 years ago, has survived prisons stints for petty theft, and is a former heroin addict. His church, which boasts "thousands of members in more than 30 countries," pays him a $136,000 per year salary. He sports Rolex watches and drives BMWs and Lexuses, which he says are gifts from members. He formed the group "Growing in Grace" in the 1980s, after his 1973 epiphany in which the resurrected Christ "integrated himself within me."

His church members love him. Last week, 30 of them gathered in Miami to go en masse to a tattoo parlor to get their very own "666" tats.

UPDATE Thurs., April 19: The Central American nations of El Salvador, Guatemala and Honduras have banned Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda from entering their countries. Miranda was scheduled to be in Guatemala on April 21 and 22 to celebrate his 61st birthday with his followers. Thanks to Jennifer Emick at altreligion.about.com for the heads-up on this update.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Growing in Grace | Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda | Born Jesus

I saw Jesus in the sky!

2007-04-13T20:06:00.000-04:00

You'd think if Jesus wanted His name painted across the sky He would do it Himself.

But since He hasn't, Jerry Stevens of Holy Smoke, Inc., of south central Florida, is doing it for Him.

This photo was taken by a blogger at Distant Creations who was visiting Disney World recently. There was a smiley face, too, that he said didn't fit into the camera frame. Commenters at his blog say that ol' Jerry is up there most every weekend — so often that locals pay him no attention — burning gas for God.

You can probably hire Jerry to annoy the pagans and granfalloon the Christians at Disney World or other Florida attractions during your vacation by visiting his website. There's also a link there that, according to its title, you can click on to "accept God's Love."

Sources: Distant Creations and BoingBoing

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Skywriting | Disney World | Born Jesus

Blogswarm Against Theocracy

2007-04-11T10:28:00.000-04:00

Last weekend's Blogswarm Against Theocracy seems like it was a modest success. Several hundred bloggers typed up a a ~~storm~~ swarm.

My friend the Widow's Son at the Burning Taper blog left a trail of interesting rants and articles about theocracy in America. Check 'em out:

Then I guess I'll have a beer

2007-04-06T10:04:00.000-04:00

The Coca-Cola Company doesn't mind placing its logo in the hands of hundreds of various movie characters, unless his name happens to be Jesus.

The Italian film Seven Kilometers from Jerusalem has been pulled from its scheduled release today, after Coke lawyers complained that the modern-day Jesus depicted in the movie drinking their product gives the company a bad image.

"We are not interested in this kind of product placement," a Coca-Cola Italia spokeswoman said.

The film will be re-edited, and should be released before the end of April, Variety reported.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Coca-Cola | Movies | Born Jesus

Sweet Jesus! Chocolate Christ art exhibit canceled after Catholics protest

2007-03-31T16:28:00.000-04:00

Sweet Jesus!

A New York hotel has canceled an exhibit of a giant naked chocolate Jesus, the AP reported.

The Catholic League or Religious and Civil Rights had called for a boycott of the hotel, which had planned the event to correspond with Holy Week.

The hotel canceled the showing, and issued a statement saying the threat was "crystal clear and has brought to our attention the unintended reaction of you and other conscientious friends of ours to the exhibition of Cosimo Cavallaro.... We have caused the cancellation of the exhibition and wish to affirm the dignity and responsibility of the hotel in all its affairs," the statement said.

The director of the art gallery that was to set up the display admitted the hotel did not know the chocolate Christ was to be exhibited, but said the artwork was not irreverent.

"It's intended as a meditation on the Holy Week," Matthew Semler said of the sculpture.

The news report says the artwork is called "My Sweet Lord," but the artist's website lists its title as "I did it daddy."

Image: "I did it daddy," from the artist's website.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Chocolate Christ | Art | Born Jesus

If Jesus invited Moroni over for coffee, would the angel say no?

2007-03-24T17:16:00.000-04:00

The Mormon church has trademarked the angel Moroni, or so they claim. I guess they can have him; they're the ones who made him up, after all, aren't they?

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, a.k.a. The Mormons, have gotten their halos in a twitch over a t-shirt produced by two coffee-sellin' joes that shows the Moronic Angel swilling coffee through his trumpet.

Taylorville, Utah "Just Add Coffee" coffee shop co-owner Ed Beazer said he and partner Van Lidell have been using the Moroni symbol for about a year, and added it to the back of a now-best-selling t-shirt around Christmas. On March 9, they ran a print ad locally featuring the logo, and promptly heard from the LDS Church's attorneys, the Deseret News reported.

Can you imagine the panic in the streets when Jesus returns and demands licensing fees for all the abuse His Name has taken in the past 2,000 years? All the people who've said "Jesus H. (or F***ing) Christ!" as an interjection and all the Hispanics who've named their children after Jesus will probably get off with just a warning, perhaps even a touch on the face or a pat on the head.

It's all those preachers and ministers and priests and popes who've been b.s.ing us for two millenia, saying "Jesus spoke to me!" and "Jesus wants you to [fill in the blank]!", who are going to catch Hell.

Church of Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Mormons | Moroni | Born Jesus

Rev. Ron Saunders channels Jesus!

2007-03-01T13:53:00.000-05:00

A city manager for Largo, Florida recently came out of the closet and announced he was planning to have a sex change operation, the Sun-Sentinel reported.

The town held a hearing with plans to fire Steve (soon to be Susan) Stanton from the job he had held for 14 years.

As you might expect, the council voted to fire him.

Townspeople packed the city hall for the meeting.

"If Jesus was here tonight, I can guarantee you he'd want him terminated," said Pastor Ron Saunders of Largo's Lighthouse Baptist Church. "Make no mistake about it."

Who died and made him Jesus' spokesman?

Not content just to show his supernatural ability to channel Jesus, Saunders, who is the pastor of a church with thirty — count 'em, thirty! — members showed his knowledge of biology and psychology by adding, "He's not going to be a man, and he's not going to be a female. He's going to be an 'it.' It's going to be the most sorrowful decision he has ever made."

Stanton is married, with a 13-year-old son. He says he's wanted to be a woman ever since he was a child.

Image: A very feminine-looking Jesus tiptoeing across the Sea of Galilee

Additional links:
Video of Stanton's speech to the council, from the St. Petersburg Times
The Florida Masochist
Sticks of Fire
Alien Intelligencer
The Delightful Yank
Blurbex
Pushing Rope

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Rev. Ron Saunders | Steve Stanton | Born Jesus

What bank would Jesus use?

2007-03-01T13:33:00.000-05:00

A 21-year old man was arrested Monday after he tried to cash a check for $50,000 at the Chase Bank in Hobart that was signed "King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant," the AP reported.

Kevin Russell had several other checks with him that were signed the same way but made out in different dollar amounts, including one for $100,000.

He was charged with one count of attempted check fraud and one count of intimidation, both felonies, and one count of resisting law enforcement, a misdemeanor.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Crime | Really Stupid People | Born Jesus

Priest and nuns sentenced to prison after botched crucifixion/exorcism

2007-02-20T13:09:00.000-05:00

A priest and four nuns were sentenced to prison yesterday for their roles in the death of a nun during an exorcism to rid her of "the devil," Ireland Online reported today.

Sister Maricica Irina Cornici, 23, who was being treated for schizophrenia, said she believed the devil was talking to her.

Daniel Petru Corogeanu, a monk who served as the priest for a secluded Holy Trinity convent in northeast Romania, and four other nuns, chained Cornici to a cross in an attempt at exorcism.

She survived several days without food or water, but died of dehydration, exhaustion and suffocation.

"God has performed a miracle for her, finally Irina is delivered from evil," the priest told reporters back in June, 2005 when this crime occurred.

"I don't understand why journalists are making such a fuss about this. Exorcism is a common practice in the heart of the Romanian Orthodox church and my methods are not at all unknown to other priests," Father Daniel added.

What is it about religion that makes people so damn crazy? How do certain illogical beliefs become so all-encompassing that you'll willingly place yourself in a position to kill like this, or to be killed like this?

Image: Father Daniel Petru Corogeanu

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Exorcism | Crucifixion | Born Jesus

Las Vegas priest assaults church worker

2007-02-02T08:03:00.000-05:00

George Chaanine, a Roman Catholic priest was arrested Thursday in Arizona after allegedly beating, groping and choking a member of his congregation and church employee at his Las Vegas church, CNN reported.

The alleged assault occured on Jan. 26 at the Our Lady of Las Vegas parish office.

He has been charged wtih attempted murder, sexual assault, kidnapping and battery with a deadly weapon. He allegedly broke a full bottle of wine over the woman's head and dragged her down a hall by her hair.

She fought back, lost consciousness and awoke with Chaanine groping her breasts and genitals, police said. She continued fighting until Chaanine straddled her and grabbed her throat, police said.

The woman said she began praying, and the priest stopped his assault and said he was going to kill himself, and left.

Chaanine has been suspended with pay from his position as church administrative pastor.

Jesus Christ | Christian |Catholic Church | George Chaanine | Christianity | Sex | Born Jesus

Jesus returns!

2006-12-20T15:46:00.000-05:00

After nearly a year, a stolen Baby Jesus has been returned, along with his travelogue, the AP reports.

Stolen last Christmas from a Buffalo, NY homeowner's front yard, the statue of the Christ Child was returned recently with a photo album showing His visits to highway exits in Binghamton, Rochester, Albany and Poughkeepsie. He also posed on a bicycle, on a horse, wearing a seat belt in a car, in a chair next to a campfire and in someone's kitchen.

A note said the prank wasn't meant to be "blasphemous or disrespectful."

John Leising, from whose yard the statue was purloined last year, said the real Jesus would have forgiven the pranksters, so he does, too.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Christmas | New York | Born Jesus

Jesus supports gay rights, Anglican priests say

2006-10-25T11:42:00.000-04:00

South African Anglican priest Jo Mdhlela says that Jesus supports gay rights. His church doesn't like it, it has been reported.

But Mdhlela compares to denying equal rights to gays is equivalent to supporting apartheid.

Jesus is challenging churches," he told his congregation. "Jesus is saying if you said apartheid was unjust then you must say laws discriminating against homosexual people are unjust."

South Africa backs the official Anglican line that gay priests may be ordained as long as they remain celibate. But Archbishop Njongonkulu Ndungane has distanced himself from conservative African bishops who say being gay is wrong.

His famed predecessor Desmond Tutu said he was "ashamed to be Anglican" when the church rejected proposals to reform its stance on gay clergy in 1998, according to a new biography, and has compared homophobia to apartheid.

Compare that to comments by Lagos Archbishop Peter Akinola, Africa's leading opponent of gay clergy: "I personally think that this is an attack on the Church of God, a Satanic attack.

"I cannot think of how a man in his senses would be having a sexual relationship with another man. It is so unnatural, so unscriptural. Even in the world of animals, dogs, cows, lions, we don't hear of such things."

Studies have shown that the more homophobic a man, the more likely he is a closet homosexual.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Anglican Priest | Homosexual | South Africa | Born Jesus

Artists fill in pages of Pat Robertson and Friends coloring book

2006-10-22T14:12:00.000-04:00

Powells.com booksellers have commissioned 56 artists to color pages from their new Pat Robertson and Friends coloring book. You can find the link to the colored pages from their site.

Publisher Comments:

Fundamentalists, politicians, journalists and criminals... meet them all in this easy-to-understand guide to the world of Pat Robertson.

The Pat Robertson and Friends Coloring Book transforms some of Robertson's most outrageous public pronouncements on the weather, politics, national defense and weight lifting into graceful, easy-to-color illustrations. The book includes cameos from many of Robertson's conservative allies and a Table of Apocalyptic Predictions That Did Not Come True.

According to Pat Robertson 75 to 80 percent of the illnesses in the United States are psychosomatic, and George W. Bush promised there would be no casualties in the Iraq War. Artist Kevin Stone illustrates these and other quotes from Barbara Bush, Jerry Falwell, Ann Coulter and many others in the Pat Robertson and Friends Coloring Book. Also included is a Pat Robertson Paper Doll, and commentary from Mackie Blanton.

"But why should we hear about body bags, and deaths... Or, I mean, it's, it's not relevant. So, why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?" — Barbara Bush, March 18, 2003

"Did you know that Pat Robertson, through rigorous training, leg-pressed 2,000 pounds?" — The Christian Broadcasting Network Website

"Now, further evidence that the creators of the series intend for Tinky Winky to be a gay role model have surfaced. He is purple — the gay-pride color; and his antenna is shapped like a triangle." — Rev. Jerry Falwell, on Teletubbies, December 13, 2005

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Religion | Pat Robertson | Born Jesus

Southwestern Baptist Seminary forbids speaking in tongues

2006-10-21T18:39:00.000-04:00

Using the baseball metaphor of "you don't wear a Yankees uniform when you play for the Mets," the Southern Baptist Convention's Southwestern Seminary President Paige Patterson defended his resolution banning Baptist seminarians from speaking in tongues or talking about it in their sermons.

Patterson submitted the resolution to trustees Tuesday, it has been reported.

It states: "Southwestern will not knowingly endorse in any way, advertise, or commend the conclusions of the contemporary charismatic movement including private prayer language. Neither will Southwestern knowingly employ professors or administrators who promote such practices."

Pentacostal and charismatic Christians say speaking in tongues is a distinctly Biblical thing to do. Patterson and the Southern Baptists disagree.

"I have opposed (speaking in tongues) for all of these years because I think it's an erroneous interpretation of the Bible," he said.

"Southern Baptists traditionally have stood against what we feel like are the excesses of the charismatic movement. All we're doing is restating where we've always been."

Dissident voices responded by saying, "Sed euismod pede a lectus ornare aliquam. Phasellus suscipit enim aliquet risus. Maecenas posuere, sapien vitae venenatis porttitor, lorem mauris dictum metus, quis hendrerit nisi nunc ac sem. Vestibulum tempus lorem a lectus. Ut vulputate. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas."

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Speaking in Tongues | Southern Baptists | Born Jesus

Pope Benedict goes all moral on us: Deviant love no longer acceptable

2006-10-21T00:17:00.000-04:00

The Burning Taper has already covered Pope Benedict's rant yesterday about "deviant love" better than I can, so I'll just point to the article "No More Deviant Love for You!" and let you bask in the blasphemy of that Freemason known as the Widow's Son as he mocks the pontiff for moralizing against gay marriage while he covers up for hundreds of homosexual and pedophile priests.

Image: Does this hat make me look gay?

Pope Benedict | Christian | Christianity | Sex | Deviant Love | Born Jesus

Act of God? Storm puts cross in Jesus's hands

2006-10-17T11:28:00.000-04:00

A recent storm left a trail of fallen limbs in its wake.

WXIA-11 in Atlanta reported a story from Bufflao, New York where two limbs fell into the shape of a cross, into the hands of a statue of Jesus in a closed Catholic school's yard.

Locals proclaimed it a miracle, a sign "there is a higher power."

Six people died as a result of this storm, and the statue lost all the fingers on one hand.

The power of the human mind to see what it wants to see is truly amazing.

Watch the news report.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Supstitions | Act of God | Born Jesus

Vatican to release cartoon of Pope John Paul II's life

2006-10-15T13:14:00.000-04:00

Cartoon Jesus from South Park will soon have a new friend to play with in Cartoonland.

The Vatican announced today it will release this week a cartoon about the life of the late Pope John Paul II.

Depicting the life of Karol Wojtyla, the hour-long program shows the future pope from his humble beginnings in Poland to his death last year at age 84.

The cartoon is titled John Paul II — The Friend Of All Humanity. It has been dubbed into seven languages.

I wonder if Cartoon Pope will bless — or eat — the cartoon crop from Veggie Tales....

Jesus Christ | Catholic | Christianity | Pope John Paul II | Cartoons | Born Jesus

Priests steal $8.6 million from church

2006-09-28T18:56:00.000-04:00

Monsignor John Skehan, who was pastor at St. Vincent Ferrer Catholic Church in Delray Beach, Florida for over 40 years, was arrested Wednesday night on charges that he stole $8.6 million from the church, using the money to buy property and other assets, CNN reported.

The 79-year-old priest was arrested at Palm Beach International Airport as he returned from Ireland and was being held on $400,000 bond on grand theft charges.

Another priest, Francis Guinan, who succeeded Skehan as church minister three years ago, has disappeared. Police said he allegedly stole money to take gambling trips to Las Vegas and the Bahamas.

Forty years! No wonder ministers call their congregations their "flock" — what a herd of sheep, ripe for shearing.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Catholic | Priests | Born Jesus

NBC edits Jesus, God and the Bible out of cartoon 'Veggie Tales'

2006-09-25T15:01:00.000-04:00

NBC has stirred up the pot — of vegetable stew.

Two weeks ago, the network began airing episodes of the Veggie Tales video series in its Saturday morning children's lineup. The popular series encourages moral behavior based on Christian and biblical principles.

NBC has edited the programs to reduce or get rid of totally references to God and the Bible. The show's creator, Phil Vischer, said he had no idea such editing would be done, or he wouldn't have signed the contract.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Veggie Tales | Cartoons | Born Jesus

'Jerusalem. There is no such city!'

2006-09-20T12:04:00.000-04:00

Jerusalem — three of the world's "great religions" call it home and consider it holy.

Recently tens of thousands of city sightseeing brochures were published saying there's no such place as Jerusalem.

"Jerusalem. There is no such city!" the Jerusalem municipality said in the English-language version it had published originally in Hebrew.

The correct translation: "Jerusalem. There is no city like it!"

Jerusalem | Judaism | Christianity | Muslim | Israel | Born Jesus

Put a Huggable Jesus doll under your kid's Christmas tree

2006-09-18T14:42:00.000-04:00

When I was a wee lad being dragged to Sunday School kicking and screaming, my little sister would mangle the lyrics to the hymn "Love Lifted Me" by singing "Love Tiny Tears," a reference to a doll of that name that was then popular.

Today, maybe they actually write hymns about dolls, for all I know.

Just in time for Christmas, that most pagan of all Christian holidays, Boston Bible-thumper Cliff Rockwood and his unnamed wife are hawking $9.99 Huggable Jesus, Huggable Esther and Huggable Moses, plush dolls "that pack fun and faith into one lovable, kid-sized package."

Huggable Moses holds two pilliow-like tablets and recites the Ten Commandments. Huggable Esther, wearing royal robes and a crown, says, "God had a plan for my life just like he has one for yours."

Rockwood told reporters, "I wanted [my daughter] to have a doll that delivers a message of love and moral grounds. It's better than giving a toy gun."

Were those the only two choices, sacrilegious dolls or a toy gun?

Huggable Jesus recites John 14:6: "I'm the way, the truth and the life. No one can come to the father except through me." You can hear all his words on the Huggable website.

The couples' website calls the dolls "a wholesome alternative to teddy bears and stuffed animals."

Are stuffed animals and teddy bears unwholesome? Oh, yeah, now I remember the Satanic stink over the stuffed rainbow-colored "My Little Pony" several years ago.

Future Huggable Old Testament dolls are planned, including Jonah, David and Noah. No word yet on whether the couple will also offer "bad guy" dolls like Satan, King Herod, and the Caananites for the good guys to trounce and destroy.

My favorite remarks about the Huggables comes from blog Conservatives for American Ideals:

...This is not a stuffed representation of the Jesus we all know and love. This is not the Jesus that hates sodomites, loves unfettered free market capitalism, and supports the War on Terror. This doll is a false idol of a false god created by liberals who want to undermine our Christian faith. These liberal nonbelievers co-opted Christ and remade him in their own twisted image. They created a pseudo-Jesus who preaches tolerance toward all, respect for women, and a concern for the poor. I hate this so-called Christ with every fiber of my being.

Eris proves science exists, but she's lying, it's true

2006-09-16T13:02:00.000-04:00

In honor of Eris, newest member of our Solar System, we offer the following pages from Principia Discordia, or How I Found Goddess and What I Did to Her When I Found Her. No hot dog buns.

GP: Is Eris true?
M2: Everything is true.
GP: Even false things?
M2: Even false things are true.
GP: How can that be?
M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it.

THE MYTH OF THE APPLE OF DISCORD

It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.*

This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold** and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog.

Now, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and everything.

Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.

Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she got the apple and he got screwed.

As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris could have Helen (the Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus, King of Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First War among men.

And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns.

Do you believe that?
________________

* This is called THE DOCTRINE OF THE ORIGINAL SNUB
** There is historic disagreement concerning whether this apple was of metallic gold or acapulco.
*** Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks did not know the Law of Fives.

What We Know About ERIS (not much)

The Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity — She was shown as a grotesque woman with a pale and ghastly look, Her eyes afire, Her garment ripped and torn, and as concealing a dagger in Her Bosom. Actually, most women look pale and ghastly when concealing a chilly dagger in their bosoms.

Her geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly confused. Either She was the twin of Ares and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the daughter of Nyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife of Chaos, or both), and Nyx's brother, Erebus, and whose brothers and sisters include Death, Doom, Mockery, and Friendship. And that She begat Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies, and a bunch of gods and goddesses like that.

One day Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She really created all of those terrible things. She told him that She had always liked the Old Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with historic matters. "They were," She added, "victims of indigestion, you know."

Suffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious. But She is mischievous, and does get a little bitchy at times.

*THE PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us can talk to Eris. If you have trouble activating your Pineal, then try the appendix which does almost as well. Reference: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #3, "The Indoctrine of the Pineal Gland"

Image: Courtesy Grouchogandhi, the beer that made Milwaukee famous

This article is stolen from either BurningTaper.com or SacredFems.com. We're not sure.

Eris | Goddess of Discord | Goddess Discordianism | Malaclypse the Younger | Omar Ravenhurst | Burning Taper | SacredFems.com | Born Jesus

So much for papal infallability: The Pope incites a riot

2006-09-16T11:36:00.000-04:00

Pope Benedict is sorry Muslims were offended by a speech that provoked fury in the Islamic world and led to calls for the leader of the Catholic church to apologize personally, the Vatican said on Saturday.

"We feel he has committed a grave error against us and that this mistake will only be removed through a personal apology," the Brotherhood's deputy leader, Mohammed Habib, told Reuters.

Muslims are so easily offended.

"The Holy Father is very sorry that some passages of his speech may have sounded offensive to the sensibilities of Muslim believers," Vatican Secretary of State Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone said in a statement.

Basically, the Pope said that early Muslims had spread their religion by violence. I can't believe the fact is disputed. Of course it was.

But so was Christianity.

Religion is the number one cause of war, hatred and injustice.

Read the Five Steps to Peace.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Muslim | Pope Benedict | Born Jesus

Fake rabbi scams Christians

2006-09-04T00:22:00.000-04:00

A con man pretending to be a rabbi pulled the lambskin over the eyes of a fake rabbi conned a churchfull of Christians in Oregon. Masquerading as a Jewish leader from Milkwaukee, "Ari Crockett," whose real name is Timothy Wilton Ehrmantrout, didn't fight in the invasions of Panama or Grenada. And he really didn't lose a leg to a terrorist bomb, but in a motorcycle accident.

Ehrmentrout tried to steal $7,000 from the church, which eventually led to the congregants discovering his true past, which included not only a stint in a Federal prison, but time on the lam after a prison break. He had boasted of having been a college professor, a computer scientist, an international lawyer, and of being friends with Steven Spielberg and Bill Gates.

Not all the congregants have abandoned the good rabbi. Over 80 members still attend his services at Beth El church in Milwaukee. Beth El is affiliated with the Church of God.

"Who you were yesterday is not what God cares about," said Ann Seregow, a Beth El spokeswoman. "It's what you do right now that matters."

Crockett responded to recent inquiries from the press with a statement.

"Even since the earliest days of our ministry we have never hidden the fact that I had been a convicted criminal, in fact we promote it," Crockett wrote.

"Beth El is a place of second chances for all who have been damaged by bad choices in life. God has given me a second chance, and I wish to dedicate my life to living that out that chance and not just talking about it."

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Religious Fraud | Church of God | Born Jesus

Evangelist drowns trying to walk on water

2006-09-03T20:26:00.000-04:00

Several sources, including World Net Daily, have reported that evangelist Rev. Frank Kabele, of Libreville, Gabon, in Africa, told his congregation that he could emulate Jesus by walking on water. He then walked into the sea and promptly drowned.

An eyewitness said, "He told churchgoers he'd had a revelation that if he had enough faith, he could walk on water like Jesus. He took his congregation to the beach saying he would walk across the Komo estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat. He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back."

If it hasn't happened already, I'm sure he'll soon be nominated for the distiguished Darwin Awards.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Stupidity | Darwin Awards | Born Jesus

Love is my religion

2006-08-29T00:30:00.000-04:00

Ziggy Marley | Love is My Religion | Reggae | Born Jesus

What would Bush do? What would Jesus do?

2006-08-28T19:04:00.000-04:00

In the last several years, we've come to hear the phrase "the Christian Right" so many times that we sometimes forget there is a Christian Left, too.

They even have a website called — wouldn't you know it? — "The Religious Left."

Recently that site ran an interesting side-by-side comparison of the Christian Right's darling, President Bush, with all Christians supposed Numero Uno, Jesus the Christ.

For example, regarding forgiveness:

Bush indicated that he was running out of patience. Asked if he planned to set an ultimatum for Saddam's compliance, Bush suggested that would be pointless, like extending "another, another, another last chance." (CBS News, Feb 18, 2003)
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Matthew 18:22)

Always look on the bright side of life

2006-08-20T13:23:00.000-04:00

Our friends at Cristo Lumen remind you to always look on the bright side of life, by posting this video excerpt from Monty Python's Life of Brian.

It hits the spot when you need a quick pick-me-up!

Jesus Christ | Life of Brian | Monty Python | Always Look on the Bright Side of Life | Born Jesus

'Head of Christ' painting stolen from school hallway

2006-08-18T14:49:00.000-04:00

Sometimes God moves in mysterious ways.

In June, we wrote about the Harrison County, West Virginia school board's refusal to remove the painting "Head of Christ" which had been hanging in a high school hallway for the past 37 years.

Last night, an intruder stole the painting, leaving behind the gilded frame and backing, Schools Superintendent Carl Friebel said.

"The picture was the only thing stolen, so the deliberate intent was to steal the picture and only the picture," Friebel said.

The school was sued in June by Americans United for Separation of Church and State and the West Virginia American Civil Liberties Union, who said the painting sends the message that the school endorses Christianity as its official religion.

Just a few days ago, the school board decided to fight the lawsuit after a group called the Christian Freedom Fund raised more than $150,000 to pay the board's legal costs. The board has previously twice voted to keep the painting hanging.

A trial is set to being in February. The American Family Association has offered to assist in the school board's defense.

Richard Katskee, attorney for Americans United for the Separation of Church and State, of the says it is money that could have been better spent. He has written the school board several letters pleading with it to take down the portrait in order to avoid a trial.

"The law is absolutely clear here, but sometimes people need to fight a battle and lose themselves to find out," he said. "That's the mistake this board is making."

Police have no leads in the case.

I would hope that the painting was removed by an "insider," someone within the school board or school system who is simply trying to save the board's $150,000 (plus!) for something better than legal fees to fight a battle they are going to lose.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Head of Christ | Harrison County School Board | Born Jesus

The Myth of Jesus Christ

2006-08-17T10:09:00.000-04:00

The Modern Masonic Journal has republished a most interesting article called "The Christ Myth," originally written in 1941 by John G. Jackson.

Jackson takes you through a hypothetical December day in the life of a young Israeli child, a few years before Jesus's supposed birth. Visiting first the Roman part of town, then the Persian, then the Egyptian. Everywhere the child goes, he finds people preparing for the feast day of December 25. Each culture is preparing to honor their Sun God, re-born on the 25th of December each year.

Well documented and footnoted, Jackson's article explores the historical evidence for the man Jesus. Other than a few most-likely bogus additions to Josephus, there isn't a lot of literary evidence. The Biblical Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are about all we have to work with. Jackson shows with example after example how these four records give, basically, four different accounts of the life of Jesus.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Bible | Josephus | Born Jesus

What really happened to Sodom and Gomorrah?

2006-08-14T17:45:00.000-04:00

Over at the Pagan Temple they're writing today about those Las Vegas/Reno twin cities of the ancient world, Sodom and Gomorrah. What really caused them to catch on fire? Rampant sex-mongering, buggery and the offering up of Lot's virgin daughters, or just a rude and inhospitable tourism board?

According to the article, the names Sodom and Gomorrah mean "burned" and "a ruined heap," respectively, and these names were given to the towns after they were destroyed by rains of fire.

Meanwhile, over at Cristo Lumen, we learn that as gays and lesbians gather in Jerusalem for WorldPride events, Muslims, Christians and Jews are taking a break from killing each other to attack the homosexuals. One flyer offers a $4,500 reward to anyone who ""brings about the death of the denizens of Sodom and Gomorrah."

Image: "Forced Sodomy"

Sodom | Gomorrah | Christianity | Ancient History | Bible | Born Jesus

Who would Jesus date?

2006-08-04T10:48:00.000-04:00

Last week I signed up the Born Jesus blog at the Top 1000 Christian, Top 1000 Baptist, and the Fundamentalist Top Sites websites. You may have noticed the logos over in the righthand sidebar (now removed).

Apparently, Born Jesus didn't cut the mustard with the Powers That Be. What? We don't qualify as a Christian site? I can no longer find Born Jesus on any of their lists. Oh, dear!

I was eyeballing the lists on these sites this morning, and noticed many interesting things. For example, after the top ten or twenty sites, many of which seem inter-related and/or related to the Top 1000 franchise themselves, the statistics recorded by these services show that most sites listed are receiving between 0 and 500 pageviews (not unique visitors, but pageviews) per day.

Today's site #318 on the Top 1000 Baptist list caught my eye: FundamentalistBaptistSingles.com. Oh, boy! Not just a Christian dating site, but a Fundamentalist Baptist dating site.

The first thing I noticed, from the Top 1000 list itself, was that FundamentalistBaptistSingles.com recorded 82 pageviews yesterday. Eighty-freaking-two looks. You can find more potential dates on a slow day in the produce aisle at the grocery store than you can on this website!

Of course I wanted to browse the selection of prospects. My soulmate might be there. But when I tried, I ran up against a few, shall we say, barriers.

Without registering, I was allowed to see only one profile, or rather, one photo and the basic stats. They offered me a 31-year old Alabama chubster, who is seeking, in her own words, "Anything." Repeated attempts at seeing a profile always returned "BethAnne."

Shall I join so I can see more fundie hotties? Intrigued, I try. But first, of course, I should read the membership rules fine print, to make sure I'm Kosher.

They check IP addresses to make sure you live in the area you say you do. If it doesn't match, even if you made an error, you're tossed off the system, with no refund.
No married person, even if legally separated, is allowed to join. If they discover you are married, they threaten to report you to not only local law enforcement agencies but your spouse. If you hold an "ordained Biblical office" such as Pastor or Deacon, they'll rat on you to your church, too.

Their Terms of Service agreement adds these burdens:

If you don't respond to their emails about anything within 30 days, they assume you are hiding something.
"You will not include in your profile any offensive anatomical or sexual references, or offensive sexually suggestive or connotative language, and you will not post any photos containing nudity. You also acknowledge that you are single (never married), divorced, widowed or legally separated."
You cannot give out your real email address, last name, phone number, address or any other info using their system. How the hell are you supposed to connect with your Dream Date?
"No photographs will be approved which depict non-modest attire, nakedness or have a sexual overtone. Bathing suits, halter tops and shorts, exposed torso and stomach, etc., are examples of photographs which are not acceptable. Non-modest attire includes, but, is not limited to the aforesaid examples. No photos of pets by themselves will be allowed either. Because the nature of this website is to edify Christ and adhere to the principles established in the Word of God, any photograph which is not in compliance with modest dress, will not be posted to the website. "
"This website is for KJV Fundamental Baptists and to that end, we believe that the Authorized King James Bible is the holy, preserved and inerrant Word of God. While you may choose to use another version of the Bible in your reading, this is the only Bible used on this website. Any comment on the forums, personal essays and/or in chats, attempting to attack, diminish or discount the King James Bible will cause your account to be cancelled."
These people are so into Being In Charge that they won't accept you if you use a free email service. "We don't accept memberships from free internet email accounts, including but not limited to juno.com, gmail.com, hotmail.com and/or yahoo.com. Additionally we will no longer accept email accounts from online services such as AOL, CompuServe and/or Prodigy."

Jesus would have never been able to get to first base with Mary Magdalene if he'd had to meet her on this site. I'm pretty sure it must be more fun to be Amish than it is to be a Fundamentalist Christian. You probably get laid more often, and you might even be allowed to enjoy it.

Image: Jesus and Mary, uncredited, from Jewlicious.com

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Sex | Christian Dating Sites | Online Dating | Born Jesus

Where Would Jesus Live? There are too many churches in my town, Texas mayor bemoans

2006-07-31T11:07:00.000-04:00

Jesus has long since been co-opted by Christians. The Jews, God's Chosen People, didn't exactly, well, you know... anyway, Jesus certainly wouldn't chose to go back to His roots in Israel to live. Too much missle-launching and rock-throwing.

So where would He live?

I don't know where He would live (maybe in Malibu, near His pal Mel Gibson), but it's a cinch He 1) already has too many homes in Stafford, Texas and 2) would run all His business enterprises in Florida.

In a recent Los Angeles Times story (click quick, they tend to lock their stories away in the vaults pretty fast) Mayor Leonard Scarcella says, "Our city has an excessive number of churches."

Currently there are 51 tax-exempt religious institutions within the city limits, and the mayor doesn't want to see Number 52.

Located near Houston, this town of 19,277 has 51 chuches and religious organizations packed into its seven square miles.

Scarcella is mayor of this Houston-area community, which has 51 churches and other religious institutions packed into its 7 square miles. With only 300 undeveloped acres left in town, the mayor is crying out for businesses — someone to pay taxes — to move into their town.

Stafford is the largest city in Texas that doesn't have a property tax. Its government is run on the proceeds of sales taxes and business fees.

But churches don't pay sales taxes and business fees.

"It's thrown everything out of balance, plus providing zero revenue. Somebody's got to pay for police, fire and schools," City Councilman Cecil Willis said.

Churches are everywhere, in traditional church buildings as well as in strip shopping centers. There are 17 churches within a quarter-mile of the city's center. There's even one tucked in behind a muffler shop. Southern Baptists, Formosan Baptists, Chinese Baptists, Formosan Evangelicals, Buddhists, Muslims, Filipino Baptists, Spanish-speaking Baptists (my, there are a lot of Baptists — but, interestingly, not a single synagogue), and "every other variety of Christian you can imagine," Scarcella said.

An ordinance was eventually passed that required those who wanted to build a church — and other public gathering places, such as bowling alleys and community halls — to undergo a rigorous review process and obtain City Council approval.

Before the ordinance, "you could pretty much come in here and say, 'I want to open up a church,' and I'd say, 'OK,'" said Gene Bane, the city's director of building permits.

"If you can't find religion in Stafford, Texas, you ain't looking hard enough," Bane said.

Very few of the church-goers actually live in or even near Stafford. "As best as we've been able to determine, the overwhelming majority of people who attend here don't even live in Stafford; they're coming from everywhere else," Willis said. Stafford is about 15 miles from both Houston and Sugarland.

"I don't hate God. I'm not against America and apple pie," Willis said. "We just have to protect what's left for commercial development."

Willis said he asked the last six applicants why they wanted to build a church in Stafford. "Every one of them said they prayed about it, and God said to come here," he said. "I can't compete with that, so here we are."

Apparently some business investors have been praying, too, seeking exactly where Jesus wanted them to open Bible-themed enterprises. His Answer: Florida!

Move over, Walt! Move over, Domino's Catholic City! Here's comes Bible Land!

On July 1, 2006, Florida Statute 196.1987 went into effect, granting tax-free status (no sales tax liability or need to pay property tax) to any business run by a church organization that wishes to "exhibit, illustrate, and interpret Biblical manuscripts, codices, stone tablets, and other Biblical archives; provide live and recorded demonstrations, explanations, reenactments, and illustrations of Biblical history and Biblical worship; and exhibit times, places, and events of Biblical history and significance, when such activity is open to the public and is available to the public for no admission charge at least one day each calendar year...."

Wow... one day a year you gotta let a few people in for free, and the rest of the time, make money hand-over-fist (okay, assuming anyone actually wants to visit Bible Land) the other 364 days of the year.

Tax advisor and law professor Linda Beale writes that this law was passed specifically to make life easier for an Orlando-based themepark called the Holy Land Experience. She said Kent Hovind, the creationist who says dinosaurs roamed the earth during Bible times, is trying his Dinoland theme park under this law, too.

(I wonder if the Holy Land Experience themepark has rides where you get to shoot missiles at your neighbors?)

Of course, lawyers and lobbyists for Bhagavad-Gita Playland and Six Flags over Mecca will cry religious discrimination, keeping this tied up in court and in the legislature until Jesus's return finally settles it Once and For All.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Churches | Stafford, Texas | Holy Land Experience | Florida | Kent Hovind

"What are you looking at, Sugar Tits?": Mel Gibson's arrest for drunk driving

2006-07-29T14:23:00.000-04:00

Actor-director Mel Gibson was arrested for drunk driving in Malibu, California (which he told the arresting officer he owned) on Friday by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Dept.

Written police reports appear to have been later doctored, ostensibily because someone in the sheriff's department wanted to downplay Gibson's anti-Jewish rant in which he called everyone he saw "f***ing Jews!", saying that the Mideast situation was "way too inflammatory" for the world to hear about Mel's anti-Semite outbursts. Jeez....

As he was being booked, he reported shouted to a female sergeant, "What are you looking at, sugar tits?!"

Sources say that the arresting officer was later told to re-write the police report, leaving out the incendiary comments and conduct. He did so, but some pages from the original report and an audiotape have since been found and made available via the Internet.

I guess we've all wondered, in our meditative moments.... What Would Mel Do?

Well, now we know.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Mel Gibson | Passion of the Christ |Drunk Driving | Born Jesus

Bush heals German chancellor by laying on of hands

2006-07-26T19:18:00.000-04:00

The George W. Buddha blog reports that our Commander in Chief wasn't actually giving German Chancellor Angela Merkel a shoulder massage at the recent G-8 Summit. Instead, he was laying on his hands to restore her to health after she suffered a cardiac arrest.

"Be still," Bush said. "I command the demon inside of you to be released."

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | George W. Bush | Laying on of Hands | Born Jesus

Southern Baptist Convention passes resolution calling for new alcohol Prohibition; Jesus's wine-drinking would make him unwelcome in Baptist churches

2006-07-24T19:19:00.000-04:00

In June, the Southern Baptist Convention met in Greensboro, N.C. They overwhelmingly passed a resolution calling for a new government Prohibition of alcohol.

Jesus, ostensibly the whole point of Christianity, shot to fame and A-list celebrity status after performing His first miracle at a wedding in Cana: He turned water into wine (John 2: 1-11). No doubt with a history of promoting alcohol with such reckless abandon, J.C. wouldn't be welcome in any Southern Baptist church today.

Southern Baptist Convention Resolution on Alcohol

WHEREAS, Years of research confirm biblical warnings that alcohol use leads to physical, mental, and emotional damage (e.g. Proverbs 23:29-35); and

WHEREAS, Alcohol use has led to countless injuries and deaths on our nation’s highways; and

WHEREAS, The breakup of families and homes can be directly and indirectly attributed to alcohol use by one or more members of a family;

And
WHEREAS, The use of alcohol as a recreational beverage has been shown to lead individuals down a path of addiction to alcohol and toward the use of other kinds of drugs, both legal and illegal; and

WHEREAS, There are some religious leaders who are now advocating the consumption of alcoholic beverages based on a misinterpretation of the doctrine of “our freedom in Christ”; now, therefore, be it

RESOLVED, That the messengers to the Southern Baptist Convention meeting in Greensboro, North Carolina, June 13-14, 2006, express our total opposition to the manufacturing, advertising, distributing, and consuming of alcoholic beverages; and be it further

RESOLVED, That we urge Southern Baptists to take an active role in supporting legislation that is intended to curb alcohol use in our communities and nation; and be it further

RESOLVED, That we urge Southern Baptist to be actively involved in educating students and adults concerning the destructive nature of alcoholic beverages; and be it finally

RESOLVED, That we commend organizations and ministries that treat alcohol-related problems from a biblical perspective and promote abstinence and encourage local churches to begin and/or support such biblically-based ministries.

Vatican says Da Vinci Code controversy was "gigantic marketing strategy"

2006-07-22T00:10:00.000-04:00

Reprinted with permission from SacredFems.com

In an amazing display of hypocrisy, the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano, mouthpiece for the Catholic Church, writes that the furor over the release of the film The Da Vinci Code was "much ado about nothing" and that the controversy surrounding the film was instigated by the producers of the film, not by the Church, AP reports.

Two months ago Catholics and Protestants and even Muslims were urging massive boycotts of the film. Protesters were marching outside theatres, carrying signs and passing out literature. Theatres were torched. Muslim countries banned the movie. Nuns and priests and even cheesy evangelical preachers were making public statements denouncing Satan for spreading Lies and Deceptions. People were writing nasty blogs about the "blasphemy" to their precious Lord and Savior. One fundamentalist pastor even re-wrote the ending of the book to have Robert Langdon repent of his sins and become a Christian.

Now that the movie has proven to be less than a cinematic success, the Church is saying, "Oh, pshaw! We never were worried about that."

I gotta call "bullsh*t!" You guys were about to wet your pants, you were so distraught.

The Vatican newspaper called the uproar leading up to the movie "probably the most gigantic marketing strategy of a book and a film seen in the last few decades."

Search this blog for "Da Vinci Code" and you'll find quite a few stories about the Church's fears about this movie, including:

...and many more.

Da Vinci Code | Catholic Church | Movie Reviews | Born Jesus | SacredFems.com

Top ten signs you're a fundamentalist Christian

2006-07-17T00:51:00.000-04:00

10 — You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 — You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 — You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 — Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in Exodus and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in Joshua including women, children, and trees!

6 — You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 — You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 — You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs — though excluding those in all rival sects — will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 — While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor "speaking in tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 — You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 — You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history — but still call yourself a Christian.

— Reprinted with permission from EvilBible.com.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Atheism | Fundamentalist Christianity | Born Jesus

Why are there no dinosaurs in the Bible?

2006-07-17T00:22:00.000-04:00

Georgia-born comedian Bill Hicks (1961-1994) on fundamentalist Christianity and dinosaurs:

Fundamentalist Christianity. Fascinating. These people actually believe the world is 12 thousand years old. Swear to God! Based on what? I asked them. "Well, we looked at all the people in the Bible, and we added them up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages — 12 thousand years." Well, how f***ing scientific! Okay. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble there. That's good.

You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? "That's right." Okay, I got one word to ask you. A one-word question. Ready? "Uh-uh." Dinosaurs.

You know, the world's 12 thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, and they existed in that time... you'd think it would have been mentioned in the f***ing Bible at some point. "And lo, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in his paw. And O, the disciples did run a-shrieking: "What a big f***ing lizard, Lord!" But Jesus was unafraid, and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw, and the big lizard became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O, so many years, inviting thousands of American tourists to bring their fat f***ing families and their fat dollar bills. And O, Scotland did praise the Lord: "Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord."

You ever notice how people who believe in creationism look really unevolved?

Hallucinogenic research finds magic mushrooms enhance spirituality

2006-07-15T17:34:00.000-04:00

I thought it was settled in the 1960s, when millions of hippies and shamans and college students went self-exploring, that magic mushrooms would help you "see God," but I guess it takes a scientist to makes things official.

Researchers at Johns Hopkins have found that an active agent contained in "sacred mushrooms" can induce strikingly similar mystical experiences in different subjects; and the experiences seem to be descriptively identical to spontaneous epiphanies that people have reported for centuries. Preempting accusations of pseudoscience due to the nature and subject matter under investigation, the researchers emphasized that their experiments followed a strict and meticulous scientific methodology. Interestingly, the researchers observed that exposure to the hallucinogen had a residual effect on subjects, with reported positive changes in behavior often lasting for several months.

Read more....

Image: "Transfiguration," a painting by Alex Grey.

Hallucinogen | Spirituality | Magic Mushrooms | Psilocybin | Born Jesus

Jesus Christ conquers the Martians

2006-07-14T20:32:00.000-04:00

Sometimes people you meet when you're young go on to great things when they get older. Or maybe I'm just impressed 'cause I can't draw very well. At any rate, someone I met a few times nearly 20 years ago has gone Hollywood, and here's some of his handiwork.

His self-written bio says:

David Merrill was born in Georgia sometime in the 20th century. He's been cartooning since he was 6 and has self-published dozens of comics, zines, flyers, and libelous agitprop. Since 1995 he's been chairman of Anime Weekend Atlanta, the southeast's prominent Japanese cartoon festival. He created the "Anime Hell" event now seen at conventions and gatherings nationwide. His work has appeared in the anthologies DRUNK TANK and JUKU, as well as the annual publication for the FLUKE minicomics festival. David Merrill received a BFA in Illustration from Georgia State University.

Christian sex toys: What would Jesus do?

2006-07-13T20:06:00.000-04:00

Joy Wilson sells sex toys online, but only to Christians.

Not willing to give business to sex shops that also sell pornography, the 35-year-old mother of two started an online business with the help of a Texas pastor and his wife to sell "marital aids," according to the Toronto Star.

Her company is called Book22, after the 22nd book of the Bible, "The Song of Solomon," a love poem between Solomon and one of his wives, or harem girls, or something. Or between Jesus and his bride the Church, if you believe certain fundamentalists.

Condoms. Lube. Vibrating panties. Her best-selling item is the jelly egg, a wear-it-all-day insertable vibrator. But you can't stick it in unless you're married and a Christian!

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Sex | Christian Sex Toys | Born Jesus

Intruder repents after being told he needs God, not money

2006-07-13T13:52:00.000-04:00

A man burst into an elderly couple's home in Alabama this week, slugging the husband and then demanding money from his wife.

Margaret Molnar told the intruder he didn't need money, he needed God. According to the woman, the man then lifted his shirt to show a tattoo of Jesus on one pec and a tattoo of a cross on the other. He then knelt down and asked forgiveness before fleeing without taking anything, according to the woman.

Click here to watch a television station's report on this strange story.

Jesus Christ | Home Invasion | Repentance | Forgiveness | Born Jesus

Allah lays an egg

2006-07-13T10:33:00.000-04:00

Just as we were tiring of seeing the Virgin Mary and Jesus in sheet metal, plates of spaghetti, and rocks, along comes the egg layed with "Allah" inscribed on its shell.

"Our mosque confirmed that it says 'Allah' in Arabic," Bites Amantayeva, a farmer from the village of Stepnoi in eastern Kazakhstan, told state news agency Kazinform. "We'll keep this egg and we don't think it'll go bad."

Reuters said the egg was laid just after a powerful hail storm hit the village.

Kazakhstan is a large, thinly populated Central Asian state where Sunni Islam is a dominant religion.

Easter will never be the same.

Actually, though the press is making a big deal of this, the phenomena is probably as commonplace as the Jesus and Mary sitings mentioned above.

A website called Miracles of Allah Almighty has pictures of a cow inscribed with the word Allah, a piece of watermelon inscribed with the word Allah, a bean inscribed with the word Allah, a tomato inscribed with the word Allah, and even another egg inscribed with the word Allah (see photo above), a cat inscribed with the word Allah, fish inscribed with the word Allah. There is a photo of trees bent into the shape of the word Allah, branches shaped like the word Allah, even clouds proclaiming the Name. According to the site, even the Moon is inscribed with the word Allah.

The power of the human imagination is wondrous and mighty indeed.

Jesus Christ | Virgin Mary | Allah | God Sightings | Born Jesus

Groups sue to have Jesus picture removed from high school hallway

2006-06-29T09:34:00.000-04:00

Two civil liberties groups sued in federal court Wednesday to remove a picture of Jesus that has hung in Bridgeport High School for over 30 years.

Even a Christian minister says this improperly sends the message that the school endorses Christianity as its official religion.

"I frankly cannot understand why this school insists that it is doing nothing wrong," said the Rev. Barry Lynn, executive director of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. "This is pretty clear constitutional law. Public schools cannot promote specific religious ideas."

The Harrison County school board's vote on removing the painting ended in a tie.

"At this point, it's a matter that's pretty much going to be up to the board," Superintendent Carl Friebel Jr. said. "It's just going to be very interesting for me to see what the board wants us to do with it."

Superintendent Friebel has the easy job, doesn't he? Sort of like Pilate, he gets to wash his hands of the affair and leave it up to someone else.

Jesus Christ | Americans United for the Separation of Church and State | Christianity | Bridgeport High School | Born Jesus

Christian Skate Night called discriminatory

2006-06-26T14:29:00.000-04:00

A skating rink in upstate New York got a visit from state officials after the rink began advertising their "Christian Skate Night" on Sundays. The state warned the owner that he was violating anti-discrimination laws.

I read about this at a television station's website, which ran a poll alongside the story asking readers if they agreed that the skating rink was practicing discrimination. At the time of this writing, the respondents to the poll overwhelmingly say no, it is not discrimination, by 91% to 9%, with about 16,000 people answering the poll.

What do you think?

Do opinions of what is and what is not discrimination change when the respondent is a member of a group that is supposedly discriminating? I'm assuming — rightly or wrongly — that most of the respondents are Christians. If the skating rink had advertised Muslim Skate Night or Satanists Skate Night or Gay Skate Night and then been called on the carpet by the state's Division of Human Rights, would the opinions of those 16,000 have been the same, that is, that the rink was not discriminating?

The owner of the rink, Len Bernardo, has renamed Sunday "Spiritual Skate Day."

A blog called Badlands has gotten itself pretty upset over this, ranting and railing against Jews for creating a climate of hate against Jesus Christ, saying Lester Maddox was supporting the Christian faith by chasing blacks with pickaxes and guns, and repeatedly referring to Martin Luther King as Marren Loofer Keen. He calls newspapers "Jewspapers." It must really suck to be that filled with hatred and still think you're a Christian.

Even funnier, or sicker, are comments left on his blog by a visitor saying that the skating rink owner should be arrested for opening his skating rink on Sunday! Yeah... that's what we need in this country, a return to Blue Laws. Jeez.

Meanwhile, the Traditional Values Coalition has fired off a letter to New York Gov. George Pataki asking him to "rein in this illegal attempt to manipulate the law to accomplish a violation of basic civil rights."

A quick look at the Traditional Values Coalition finds they hate gays, hate "radical feminists," support right-wing activist judges, and want the Pledge Protection Act to pass the Senate. This bill, S.1046/H.R. 2389, sponsored by Senator Jon Kyl (R-AZ) and Representative Todd Akin (R-MO), would take away the Federal court system's ability to rule on certain issues, namely, any case involving the Pledge of Allegiance.

The chairman of this group, Rev. Louis P. Sheldon, says, "The 9th Circuit Court in California and other federal courts have shown that they are incapable of issuing fair rulings on the Pledge of Allegiance and the words ‘under God’ in the Pledge. We must remove power from these federal courts to tamper with the Pledge — by prohibiting them from ruling on the Pledge in the future."

Jesus Christ | Roller Skating | Christianity | Discrimination | Born Jesus

Jesus may be dallying, but Superman returns next week!

2006-06-21T15:00:00.000-04:00

Is Superman a Christ figure? Well, duh!

An Associated Press story today asks that question.

Director Bryan Singer, who is Jewish, said the notion of Superman as a Christ figure is simply another case of contemporary storytelling borrowing from ancient motifs.

In other words, it's just as Joseph Campbell said: It's all One Story, that of The Hero with a Thousand Faces.

In the newest version of the Superman saga, Superman Returns, which opens next week, Kal-El (the born-name of Superman, and hey, "El" is a name of God in the Old Testament) hears his father tell him he has been sent to Earth because humans "lack the light to show the way. For this reason I have sent them you, my only son."

Before being kidnapped by villain Lex Luthor, Lois Lane assures Superman, "The world doesn't need a savior, and neither do I."

Luthor — a Loki/Lucifer-like character if ever I saw one — said, "Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don't share their power with mankind."

Kal-El is truly a "Born Jesus"!

Jesus Christ | Superman Returns | Christianity | Movies | Born Jesus

Passion 2: The Resurrection, coming Easter 2007

2006-06-13T09:31:00.000-04:00

So far it's just a rumor — nothing yet on the Internet Movie Database — but all the cool blogs like Celebrity Religion, WhizBangPop, and Sacred Fems are reporting it, so we're jumping on the bandwagon, too.

Sony Pictures is planning an Easter 2007 release for a feature tentatively titled The Resurrection, which will tell the story of Jesus Christ beginning with the day he died. As such, some liken it to a "follow-up" to Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ. "The Passion ends with [SPOILER ALERT!] Jesus being taken from the cross, and The Resurrection opens with an empty cross," a source familiar with the script tells Reuters, adding, "This is a serious attempt to understand the Roman world in which Christ moved and the Christian era was born."

Jesus Christ | Passion of the Christ | Christianity | Movies | SacredFems.com

Jesus loves a machine gun

2006-06-13T08:51:00.000-04:00

Excerpt from San Francisco Chronicle, June 7, 2006, by Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist, reprinted from The Burning Taper.

Imagine: you are a foot soldier in a paramilitary group whose purpose is to remake America as a Christian theocracy, and establish its worldly vision of the dominion of Christ over all aspects of life. You are issued high-tech military weaponry, and instructed to engage the infidel on the streets of New York City. You are on a mission — both a religious mission and a military mission — to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state — especially moderate, mainstream Christians. Your mission is "to conduct physical and spiritual warfare"; all who resist must be taken out with extreme prejudice.

Ah yes, the neo-Christian ideal. The ultimate dominionist police state, a smoking, reeking, post-apocalyptic vision of New York, a world teeming with nonbelievers just waiting to be either converted or massacred by nothing less than a Christianized American Taliban, a world of righteousness and judgment and death, all in the name of one very nasty and bloodthirsty God. It's "Grand Theft Auto" for the Rick Santorum set. It's "Resident Evil 4" for American Family Association types who eat too much BGH meat and never have sex.

It's the new "Left Behind" video game, due out by Christmas.

Oh but wait. There's a lovely kicker: When you get bored with the sanctimonious drabness of fighting on the side of a hateful Christ (which, invariably, you most certainly will), the game apparently allows you to switch modes and fight for the army of the Antichrist, unleashing cloven-hoofed demons who feast on the flesh of the righteous as you blow away Bible-thumping soldiers who, just before they die, secretly confess their intense gay love for their platoon commanders. Isn't that thoughtful?

It's also a bit of genius marketing. After all, aren't the villains always far cooler and sexier than the self-righteous and the holy? The devil always has better vodka than God. Who wants to run around shooting Buddhists and praying, when you can don the armor of hell itself and drink and have dirtyfun sex and get tattoos and listen to Metallica and wear low-slung jeans and laugh easily? No one, that's who.

Which is why the game could become the sleeper hit of the year. Sure, brainwashed fundamentalist kids will love playing on the side of God. For a while. But then the dark side will beckon. The irresistible scent of rebellion will hit their noses like hot porn pizza. They will fall into the clutches of a crazy self-defined happiness, they will squirm and giggle and feel anarchic and seditious and free, running clean in a place where the beer is cold and the dancing is hot and no one is telling them they have to kill someone because that person dared to believe that God isn't, well, a misanthropic, murderous jackass.

Now that's heaven.

Read the whole enchalada....

Jesus Christ | Left Behind | Christianity | Video Game | BornJesus.blogspot.com

Lightning strikes praying woman

2006-06-01T02:04:00.000-04:00

Clara Jean Brown's prayers may have been heard, but she may not be too sure by Whom.

While the Alabama woman stood in her kitchen praying for the safety of her family during a strong thunderstorm on Memorial Day, lightning exploded through the room, blowing a whole in the linoleum and blackening the concrete underneath. She dazed by the blast, but unharmed.

But while she prayed, lightning suddenly exploded, blowing through the linoleum and leaving a blackened area on the concrete. Brown and her 14-year-old granddaughter fell to the the floor as the lightning whizzed by them, dazed and disoriented by the blast, but otherwise uninjured.

Lightning | Prayer | Alabama

Iran tells Bush to practice the Christianity he preaches

2006-05-09T13:25:00.000-04:00

Ya gotta love it when the president of a fundamentalist Muslim country like Iran tells the President of the U.S. to practice the Christianity that he preaches.

Read about it here.

Religion Schmeligion: Pizza for Passover

2006-04-25T10:43:00.000-04:00

Catholic guy: "Aren't you going to eat some pizza?"

Jewish Guy: "No, it's Passover, we can only eat certain foods, but not pizza."

CG: "You're jewish?"

JG: "Yes, and I've told you this like a thousand times before."

CG: "Aren't Jews the ones that dress up like Ninjas and pray?"

JG: "No, I think you're thinking of Muslims, but they're not really Ninjas..."

CG: (interupting) "Aren't all Jews Muslims?"

JG: "Um... you couldn't be more wrong."

CG: "But tell me this. Jews and Muslims: they're all still Christians, right?"

JG: "I don't even know how to answer that."

—Submitted by Mike Routier, 2006-04-24 12:50:29 Syndicated from Religion Shmeligion, on Overheard in Chicago

Catholics | Jews | Muslims | Ninjas | Overheard In

Jehovah's Witnesses called "hate group"; raided in Russia

2006-04-14T22:35:00.000-04:00

A Jehovah's Witnesses prayer meeting of 200 worshippers was raided and broken up by Moscow, Russia, police officers on Thursday.

In June 2004, the Moscow City Court barred the denomination from engaging in religious activities, citing a law that bans religious groups deemed to incite hatred or intolerance.

Read more....

"Jesus Loves Porn Stars"

2006-04-07T19:10:00.000-04:00

The L.A. Times and other outlets are reporting that a Bible publisher has refused to print XXXchurch.com's "Jesus Loves Porn Stars" logo on 10,000 Bibles the ministry has paid for. The Bibles were intended to be given out to adult film festival antendees.

Pastors Mike Foster and Craig Gross say they typically give away 1,000 copies of the New Testament at each weekend festival they attend.

The American Bible Society rejected the pastors request to print the words on the cover of the 10,000 copies they had already printed. Barbara Bernstengel, the executive in charge of standards at the nonprofit Bible publishing company, wrote in a letter to the ministry that "the wording is misleading and inappropriate for a New Testament."

The guys at xxxchurch.com are also sponsoring Porn Sunday in churches all over America. Look for it at a church near you.

The company reported made other suggestions for the cover imprint, but the ministers remained steadfast.

Gross said that the imprint would not be misleading: Jesus does love porn stars, as well as every one else, he said. The words do not indicate that Jesus likes pornography.

"But that's why we're putting the Bible in [the porn stars'] hands — Jesus is not OK with it," he said. "The publisher is hindering the Gospel going forth."

Maybe the guys should get JC's Girls founder Heather Veitch to ask the folks at American Bible Society to re-think their position. I think most men who do just about anything she might ask of them.

Jesus Christ | Jesus Love Porn Stars | XXXChurch | Bible | Sex | Mike Foster | Craig Gross | Heather Veitch

The Jesus Flickfest

2006-04-05T17:06:00.000-04:00

Jesus Christ, the Musical

2006-04-05T01:02:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you just gotta kick back and laugh. Enjoy the movie.

Jesus Christ | Jesus Christ the Musical | I Will Survive | Video

The Dalai Lama interview

2006-04-02T20:44:00.000-04:00

The exiled Dalai Lama, who was the first Dalai Lama to visit the West, recently gave an interview to the London Daily Times.

Of fundamentalists he said: "Fundamentalism is terrifying because it is based purely on emotion, rather than intelligence. It prevents followers from thinking as individuals and about the good of the world."

He was speaking of Muslim fundamentalist terrorists, but his words would apply to any other religious fundamentalists, too.

Of Westerners he said: "It is fascinating. In the West, you have bigger homes, yet smaller families; you have endless conveniences — yet you never seem to have any time. You can travel anywhere in the world, yet you don't bother to cross the road to meet your neighbours.

"I don't think people have become more selfish, but their lives have become easier and that has spoilt them. They have less resilience, they expect more, they constantly compare themselves to others and they have too much choice — which brings no real freedom."

Buddha | Buddhism | Dalai Lama | Tibet

God or the Girl?

2006-04-02T03:12:00.000-04:00

Now "reality TV" brings us God or the Girl.

Four young men ponder entering Catholic priesthood... or should they keep their secular lives...?

To help them think it over, one young man "goes on a pilgrimage with no money or food, relying completely on the kindness of strangers to help him get to his destination — a religious center in Niagara Falls."

Another one builds an 80-pound cross and carries it 22 miles. One runs off to help the poor and needy in Guatamala, and the fourth moves to a convent to live with nuns.

Or maybe they should just stay with their girlfriends?

All four major networks turned down the offer to air this show, as did the WB. It debuts on the A&E Network on April 16, Easter Sunday.

Read more, if you care....

Photo: Mike Lechniak reads the Bible while he ponders his future.

Catholic Church | Priests | Reality TV | Jesus Christ | Easter | God | Television | God or the Girl

God's Five Steps to Peace

2006-04-02T01:50:00.000-05:00

Here's an excerpt from a recent article at The Burning Taper, which quotes God as he appears in Neale Donald Walsch's "The New Revelations: A Conversation with God," about the Five Steps to Peace:

God doesn't just speak through ancient texts. If He was real then, and was "inspiring" mere mortals to write down His Words, then chances are, He's still doing it.

Neale Donald Walsch has presented the world with a series of books called Conversations with God. In 2002's The New Revelations: A Conversation with God, we are told by God that all our problems, both personal and planetwide, are not political or economic or military in nature, but are spiritual.

He tells us that none of our spiritual or religious beliefs are necessarily wrong, that we should not necessarily discard them, but that to solve our problems we should transcend them!

God says:

Transcending means to go beyond, to move past. It does not mean to completely reject or totally destroy. You do not have to destroy a thing in order to move past it....

"Transcending" does not mean always being "other than," it means always being "larger than." Your new, larger belief system will no doubt retain some of the old — that part of the old belief system that you experience as still serving you — and so it will be a combination of the new and the old, not a rejection of the old from top to bottom.

Can you see the difference?

God continues:

...Stop your resistance.

Rejecting completely your present beliefs would be to discredit so much of what has been taught, so much of what has been understood, so much of what has been done — and so much of what has been good.

It would make too much of the world feel "wrong." It would make ancestors "wrong," it would make entire scriptures "wrong," it would make present-day lives "wrong." People would have to admit that all of the spiritual aspects of the human experience have been a mistake, a misunderstanding.

This is more that most people can acknowledge. It is more than they should acknowledge, because it is not true.

In fact, you don't have to declare that you were "wrong" about anything, because you weren't. You simply didn't have a complete understanding. You needed more information.

Transcending current beliefs is not an outright rejection of them; it is an "adding to" them.

Now that you have more information that you can add to what you presently believe, you can enlarge your beliefs — not completely reject them, enlarge them — and move on with your lives in a new way.

A way that works.

Stay with Him, folks. God has more to say. Why didn't He speak this clearly 2,500 years ago when Isaiah and Jeremiah were proclaiming His words?

You are facing now a new and startling danger — a danger posed to your entire species. A threat to your very survival posed by the combination of a split in ideology and an advance in technology, which makes it possible for you to seek to resolve your differences with tools of human destruction unlike anything you may have heretofore dreamed of in your worst nightmare.

There are five things you can choose now if changing your world, and the self-destructive direction in which it is moving, is what you wish to achieve.
You can choose to acknowledge that some of your old beliefs about God and about Life are no longer working.
You can choose to acknowledge that there is something you do not understand about God and about Life, the understanding of which will change everything.
You can choose to be willing for a new understanding of God and Life to now be brought forth, an understanding that could produce a new way of life on your planet.
You can choose to be courageous enough to explore and examine this new understanding, and, if it aligns with your inner truth and knowing, to enlarge your belief system to include it.
You can choose to live your lives as demonstrations of your highest and grandest beliefs, rather than as denials of them.
These are the Five Steps to Peace, and if you take them, you can shift everything on your planet.

Behavior cannot be changed, unless there is a change in beliefs, "because beliefs create behaviors."

Artwork: "The Birth of Peace," an oil painting by John WorldPeace.

God's Words quoted from "The New Revelations: A Conversation with God," by Neil Donald Walsch.

God | Neale Donald Walsch | Conversations with God | The New Revelations: A Conversation with God | Five Steps to Peace

Religion in the News

2006-03-30T18:00:00.000-05:00

Random recent tidbits of religious interest:

A Rastafarian has filed a religious discrimination suit against UPS, saying the delivery company refused to let him be a driver because his Rasta-beard didn't meet appearance guidelines.
Intercessary prayer for heart-surgery patients by strangers does no good, according to a recent study. The authors of the study admit, though, that other studies have indicated that prayer by family members and friends does lessen post-surgical complications.
According to a recent press release from the Center for Reason, Christians have just as many abortions as non-Christians, and Catholics lead the way, with abortion rates among Cathlolics above the national average.
Apparently Baptists and fundamentalists are feeling poorly treated these days, whining that they've found themselves on the losing side in a War Against Christians. But even some evangelicals have told the cry-babies to stow it, and focus on issues that Jesus would care about, like poverty and hunger.
Catholics are more likely that other people, religious or non-religious, to support the use of torture, according to a recent survey. Does that surprise anyone, given that the former head of the Catholic Inquisition (the Prefrect of the Congregation for the Doctrine and Faith) is now the Pope of the Holy Roman Catholic Church? Fifty-six percent of Catholics surveyed said they support torturing terrorists "often" or "sometimes," while 49% of white Protestants and 49% of white Evangelicals both said they support it often or sometimes. Only 35% of those who claimed to be non-religious supported torture often or sometimes. Twenty-six percent of Catholics said torture should never be used, compared to 31% each for white Protestants and white Evangelicals, and 41% of non-religious people.

Jigging for Jesus

2006-03-26T17:15:00.000-05:00

Wearing a kilt emblazoned with the Star of David, wearing what looks like a Girl Scout beret and vest, and carrying a sign that reads, "The end is coming, Christ is near," Irish ex-priest Cornelius "Neil" Horan dances a jig for Jesus in this video from YouTube.

In August, 2004 Horam was given a 12-month suspended sentence for ambushing the front-runner in the mens' marathon in Athens, Greece, during the Olympics, according to the BBC. He also has disrupted the Grand Prix and other sporting events with his "end of the world" publicity stunts. He even has his own Wikipedia entry.

"Forget The Da Vinci Code! THIS is the real thing!"

2006-03-23T20:25:00.000-05:00

"Forget The Da Vinci Code! This is the real deal," says arts and antiquities dealer Michel Van Rijn of the revelation two weeks from now that he believes will alter the world's thinking and undermine 2,000 years of Christian teaching.

Found in the 1970s in a tomb in Egypt, and later acquired by a Swiss foundation, The Gospel of Judas is set to be published in the April issue of National Geographic magazine, reports the Guardian Unlimited.

History tells us that a Gospel of Judas was denounced by a bishop in the second century. Presumably, this is the same text.

The text, reports say, presents Judas not as the vilest of traitors, but rather as a hero, doing what he did at Jesus's request. Indeed, it is supposed, that without the "betrayal," there would have been no martyrdom; Christ's destiny could not have been fulfilled.

Not everyone, of course, is as excited or worried about this bit of historical revisionism as is Van Rijn. The world will keep on turning, the Pope will still do what the Pope does, the Baptists will still do Baptists do, and this blog will publish yet another article. The masses won't even notice.

But slowly, surely, another brick in the wall of modern Christianity will be eroded, another "eternal verity" will be dispensed with. I'm not entirely sure that's a bad thing.

Reprinted from SacredFems.com

Christianity | Jesus Christ
Judas Iscariot | Gospel of Judas
Heresy | National Geographic | Egypt | Antiquities

Body-slammin' for the Lord!

2006-03-21T16:50:00.000-05:00

Are you ready to rummmm-ble?

What do you get when you put a Christian evangelist in tights and bad make-up, call him by a Biblical name, and throw him into a ring? A body-slammer for Jesus!

Christian "rock" music wasn't bad enough. Holy Hotties buying lap dances for Jesus got my attention 'cause, well, they're hotties. But Wrestling for the J-man? Jeez....

Chase "Darkness" Cliett is strapped to a wooden cross while the Bad Guys beat the hell out of him, before he is saved by his angelic Good Guys. A red-suited horned guy finally gets knocked out, to the joyous shrieks of the crowd.

At the official website WrestlingforJesus.org, you can see their line-up of wrestlers, buy their cheesy t-shirts, and have your ears blasted by loud heavy metal music.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is Christianity today. Someone should just throw these people to the lions!

Source: "Christian wrestlers body slam for God"

Photo is of "Darkness." Scary, huh?

Pro Wrestling | Jesus Christ
Wrestling for Jesus

Celebrating the Vernal Equinox

2006-03-20T19:47:00.000-05:00

Happy Vernal Equinox! Today in the Northern Hemisphere, it's the first day of Spring, when the sun crosses the Celestial Equator and enters the sign of Aries.

It's a day for mourning the Goddess's consort, the Dying God, who has co-ruled with the Goddess during the autumn and winter months.

It is the first day of the year in the Zoroastrian calendar. It is the feast day of the Anglo-Saxon Goddess Easter, known to the Mesopatamians as Ishtar.

The Dying God is celebrated by an inscription in the Vatican, which says, "He who will not eat of my body, nor drink of my blood, so that he may be one with me and I with him, shall not be saved." No, that's not Jesus talking, but the God-Man Mithras, upon whose Temple ruins the Vatican was built. Mithras was a solar deity known as The Redeemer. His worship was before and concurrent with that of Jesus, but eventually faded away.

Mithras was Known as the "Good Shepherd" and the "Light of the World," just as was Jesus. Mithras's followers shared ritual communion meals of bread and wine. Mithras was born in a cave, of a virgin, on December 25th. Shepherds attended at his birth.

As the Burning Taper discussed some time ago, many God-Men were born on the Winter Solstice, and many died on the Vernal Solstice. Attis's mother was Cybele, a virgin, known as Queen of Heaven. Further back, we find the Babylonian Goddess Ishtar and her dying/resurrected son/lover Tammuz, born/resurrected at the Winter Solstice, dying at the Spring Equinox.

Even the name Easter comes from the word Ishtar.

The cross is an ancient symbol, pre-dating Christianity, often used to represent a solar deity. Inside a circle, the cross represents the Earth and her four seasons.

From "The Temple of Love: The History of the Temple of Ishtar":

In Her Temples in many lands from Egypt to Assyria to Babylon to Crete to India, in Rome and Greece and many Celtic lands, Her Temples had Sacred Priestesses who were also called Prostitutes by those of body denial religions. Her worship was in the arms of the Priestess who embodied and represented The Goddess(s). These worshipers are sometimes known as pagans.

A fundamental difference in the concept of worship is important to note: In the Temples of the old ways people would go to the temple TO BE WORSHIPPED not to worship. Women would go to the temple to serve the Goddess to embody Her, to represent Her, to be worshipped as Her. Women would spend a day, or a week, or a year serving at the Temple as a priestess, as a sacred Prostitute, as a whore in service to the Goddess. There they would be worshipped as the incarnation of the Goddess, as The Goddess Herself.

Men would come to Her Temple TO BE WORSHIPPED. Men would be welcomed and served by the Priestesses and men would represent the divine male principal, the Horned One, the Sacred Bull, The God. Men would come to the temple to give their love and passion to The Goddess, and would receive the passion, love, and affection of The Goddess.

But some three millennia ago there came monotheists who refused Her Worship preferring instead to be diminished in body and spirit. They called Her, "The Whore of Babylon, who leads men into fornication." They called our sacred sexuality "sin," and cast shame on Her sacred Priestesses. They held up a "virgin" as the ideal that women should imitate instead of the sacred Goddess that they had always held as the most sacred image of Woman. This is essentially the state of things in the modern world.

The two principal deities of ancient Babylon were Baal and Ishtar. Baal was the god of war and the elements and Ishtar the goddess of fertility - both human and agricultural. These two deities have roots going back before Babylon to Nimrod at Babel and to Assyria. Through the ages they were imported into other nations and under different names but always retaining the same basic characteristics. Baal was also called Bel, Baalat, Molech, Merodach, Mars and Jupiter, and was frequently represented as a bull. Ishtar was also called Aphrodite, Astarte, Ashtoreth, Cybele or Sybil, Diana, Europa, Isis, Semiramis and Venus. The two main elements in the worship of Baal were fire and human sacrifice, usually children.

Happy Spring!

Sources:
Altreligion.About.Com
The Temple of Love: The History of the Temple of Ishtar
The Burning Taper: Let There Be Light
Born Jesus: Mother, behold thy Son! Son, behold thy Mother!

This article is reprinted from SacredFems.com.

Astrotheology | Ishtar | Baal | Cybele
Attis | Tammuz | Jesus | Virgin Mary

Jesus was a radical: No dogma, no creed, no ritual

2006-03-18T12:57:00.000-05:00

Spartacus opens our eyes by pointing out Jesus was not perfect by 21st century standards. He was a racist, He was disrespectful to His mother and relatives, He advocated violence, and He was a Sage.

Swami Abhedananda, a Hindu Sage, said: "The religion of Christ or true Christianity had no dogma, no creed, no system, and no theology. It was a religion of the heart, a religion without any ceremonial, without ritual, without priest-craft. It was not based upon any book, but upon the feelings of the heart, upon direct communion of the individual soul with the heavenly Father. On the contrary, the religion of the church is based upon a book, believes in dogmas, professes a creed, has an organized system for preaching it, is backed up by theologies, performs rituals, practises ceremonials, and obeys the commands of a host of priests."

Read more...

Jesus Christ | Theology | Catholicism
Christianity | Hindu | Swami Abhedananda

We're all Jesus's children

2006-03-18T05:16:00.000-05:00

Is there a bloodline from Jesus to the present day? Yes! And we're all part of it. That is, if Jesus had children.

We tend to think we can trace our roots back to a specific individual, but we also tend to forget the other people who donated their genetics to us. At 20 generations back, most of us have between 600,000 and 1,000,000 ancestors; at 40 generations, the number is phenomenal. At 120 generations, the whole world was our mommy and daddy.

Read more....

Thanks to Spartacus for clueing us into this article.

Jesus | Bloodline | Da Vinci Code | Ancestry
Geneology | Genetics | Dan Brown

Mother, behold thy son! Son, behold thy mother!

2006-03-17T15:30:00.000-05:00

This statue and shrine is part of a small chapel near a cemetary at the Ave Maria Grotto in Cullman, Alabama. On the grounds of a Cathlolic church and prepatory school, the grotto also houses an incredible display of "little Jerusalem," dozens of miniature representations of Bible-era Jerusalem, European cathedrals, scenes from the Bible, patriotic themes, and much more, all built by hand by a monk who was denied the privilege of becoming a priest because an accident at the monastery left him a hunchback. Fascinating.

Most people see here a statue of a weeping Mary holding her dead son Jesus, with a crucifix overhead and above that, a round stained glass window. The border of the stained glass window says, "Mother, behold thy son. Son, behold thy mother."

Typical Catholic stuff, you say. Yep, I say.

But I see so much more.

I see the Queen of the Heavens — the female representation of the Mother / Sky / Heaven / the Universe/ the Moon — holding the dying and soon to be resurrected Sun / Son / God of this World. Since the dawn of Man, the Sky and the ancient planets (which included the Sun and the Moon) have been held in awe... have been worshipped and adored and sometimes feared.

Above the two figures, we see the Cross, the Crucifix, the actual emblem of the dead and resurrected God / Man / Sun. The Cross as a religious symbol predates Christianity. The Cross represents the Earth, and four quadrants the Seasons. More than that, it represents Life itself. And yes, the Cross represents Death itself, or rather, the constant renewal, the constant regeneration, the constant interplay between Birth and Death. The cross also represents the Male and the Female, both necessary to bring forth new life. The vertical shaft of the Cross is driven into/through the horizontal beam of the Cross, representing the physical requirement of Man entering Woman in order to perpetuate the Life cycle.

Male and female... mother and son... behold, Life!

The circular stained glass also represents the spherical Sun... and the Moon.

And taken as a unit, the circle atop the cross is the symbol for the heavenly Venus, Aphrodite, Hera, Juno, Ishtar, Astarte, Esther, Isis, and of course, Mary, the Queen of the Heavens.

Not to mention, the universal symbol for Female.

Astrotheology | Heaven | Catholicism | Ave Maria Grotto
Jesus | Solar Worship | Astrology Symbolism | Mythology
Virgin Mary | Mother Mary | Mother and Son

Falwell: "No Jews in Heaven!"

2006-03-17T11:27:00.000-05:00

Jerry Falwell claims that he loves Jews so much that he "seriously believe[s] that few Americans have invested more time and resources in the defense of Israel in this generation" than he has.

But, so sorry, Jewish people: He says you're still going to hell. "...[It] is categorically untrue... that I have recently stated that Jews can go to heaven without being converted to Jesus Christ."

Source: "A Gracious Correction of the Jerusalem Post," written by Jerry Fallwell, March 2, 2006

Jerry Falwell | Jerusalem | Judaism | Jews
Hell | John Hagee | Dual Covenant

Thetans vs South Park: The Million Year War

2006-03-17T11:05:00.000-05:00

Isaac Hayes quit the show South Park recently, complaining that the show that had returned him to stardom "disrespected" religion. Apparently Hayes didn't mind disrespecting Baptists, Mormons, Catholics and Jews. It was when they got around to disrespecting Scientologists that his morals and compassion kicked in.

On Wednesday, Comedy Central abruptly pulled the scheduled South Park episode about Scientology, called "Trapped in the Closet," and aired instead an episode featuring Hayes called "Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls."

While the South Park creators didn't directly comment on Comedy Central's decision to pull the episode, they issued an unusual statement to Daily Variety indicating the battle is not over.

"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!"

The duo signed the statement "Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu."

South Park | Chef | Xenu | Isaac Hayes
Scientology | Trey Parker | Matt Stone

Saving the Nazi Church

2006-03-16T21:22:00.001-05:00

In 1932 Nazis began joining local parishes in a clandestine effort to undermine the Church's power to resist Hitler's rise to power. By 1935, two-thirds of the membership of the Martin Luther Memorial Church were members of the Nazi party.

The church building was built in 1929, designed in the Bauhaus style. The inside was modifed by the Nazi members in the 1930s.

“There was a bust of Adolf Hitler in the nave,” Isolde Boehm, dean of the church, said, the Times of London reports. “A carved face of Hitler has been replaced by one of Martin Luther. There is even a rumour that the church was supposed to be called the Adolf Hitler Church.”

The image of a Nazi storm trooper side by side with Jesus Christ has been carved into the pulpit. An Iron Cross-shaped chandelier illuminates the entrance

Bare patches in the walls marks where swastikas have been ripped out.

Two Protestant priests — Frau Boehm and the Reverend Malte Jungnickel — want to have the church declared a listed building. They are asking the German government to fund restoration of the church, expected to cost €3 million (£2 million or $3.6 million US).

"Look at the face of Christ on the cross," Herr Jungnickel said. "It is the face of a victorious Aryan, with a bodybuilder’s frame, not the suffering Jesus."

"So far, thank God, the neo-Nazis have not discovered the church as a place of pilgrimage," Frau Boehm said. [Neo-Nazis apparently don't have the Internet, and will never read this. — Ed.]

German art critics find themselves in an ethical dilemma: How much Nazi iconography should be saved?

The Nazi church is something of an embarassment; it reminds people of how clearly the Protestant Church aligned itself to Hitler.

Bells embosssed with the swastika rang at the church until 1942, when they were melted down for use in war munitions.

Not all the church members during the Second World War were Nazis or Nazi sympathizers, however. Max Kurzreiter, the local priest in the 1930s, gave shelter to members of the dissident anti-Nazi Confessional Church.

And prominent anti-Nazi and writer Jochen Klepper married a Jewish convert at the church in 1938. "That required a great deal of courage from the priest," Herr Jungnickel said.

Klepper, his wife and one of his daughters killed themselves in December 1942. "The problem we will always have with this unique church is that whenever we stand in the pulpit and say something, we have to preach against our surroundings; that’s incredibly hard," Frau Boehm said.

"Somehow we have to find a way of preserving the building, keeping its interior as a warning, but also supplement it with a documentation centre explaining the complicated history of the church in the Third Reich."

Nazi | Hitler | Third Reich
Christianity | Protestant | Martin Luther Memorial Church

Chef quits South Park; says show disrespects religion

2006-03-16T00:33:00.000-05:00

Isaac Hayes says he has had it with South Park.

Since 1997, he has voiced the character of Chef, the ladies' man/school cook that the kids look up to on the animated Comedy Central satire.

"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," the 63-year-old soul singer and outspoken Scientologist said.

"Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored," he continued. "As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices."

Hayes, a Scientologist, did not specifically cite in his complaint the 2005 "Trapped in the Closet" episode, which goofed on Scientology with visits from Tom Cruise and John Travolta.

"There is a place in this world for satire,” Hayes said, “but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins."

South Park co-creator Matt Stone told the AP: "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology... He has no problem — and he's cashed plenty of checks - with our show making fun of Christians."

The AP report continues:

Last November, "South Park" targeted the Church of Scientology and its celebrity followers, including actors Tom Cruise and John Travolta, in a top-rated episode called "Trapped in the Closet." In the episode, Stan, one of the show's four mischievous fourth graders, is hailed as a reluctant savior by Scientology leaders, while a cartoon Cruise locks himself in a closet and won't come out.

Stone told the AP he and co-creator Trey Parker "never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology. He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin."

Links:
Watch the episode about Scientology
South Park Studios homepage

South Park | Chef | Isaac Hayes
Scientology | Tom Cruise | John Travolta

Marriage

2006-03-16T00:27:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday, March 1st, 2006, in Annapolis at a hearing on the proposed Constitutional Amendment to prohibit gay marriage, Jamie Raskin, professor of law at AU, was requested to testify.

At the end of his testimony, Republican Senator Nancy Jacobs said: "Mr. Raskin, my Bible says marriage is only between a man and a woman. What do you have to say about that?"

Raskin replied: "Senator, when you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution. You did not place your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible."

The room erupted into applause.

The Tie-In of Tie-Ins: The McPassion Meal

2006-03-11T12:53:00.000-05:00

What if Mickie D's had done a Fun Meal tie-in with the movie The Passion of the Christ? Watch this video and find out!

Three different meals!

McLast Supper
McLoaves and Fishsticks
McProdical Son with Lo-Carb Calfburger

Each comes with Gethsemane Garden Salad and a delicious Vinegar Sponge Drink!

And a Da Vinci Decoder Ring!

It's a bit twisted, but funny.

McDonald's | Parody | Passion of the Christ

God's own Lite-Brite

2006-03-06T11:02:00.000-05:00

Thomas Kinkade's deliberately inspirational and dreamy images of landscapes and street scenes have brought "God's light" into people's lives, the artist says.

The self-proclaimed "Painter of Light" says he's a devout Christian for the past 20 years. "When I got saved, God became my art agent," he said in a 2004 video biography.

But Kinkade has a dark side, some former employees, gallery operators and others contend.

Some former gallery owners depict Kinkade as a ruthless businessman. Kinkade denies the accusations, but last month a three-member panel of the American Arbitration Association ordered his company to pay $860,000 for defrauding the former owners of two failed Virginia galleries.

Not only are his business practices under scrutiny, but many people have come forward to say that his personal behavior is anything but like the wholesome image on which he's built his empire.

Ex-employees and others have accused Kinkade of:

getting drunk and heckling illusionists Siegfried & Roy in Las Vegas
cursing at a former employee's wife who came to his aid when he fell of a barstool
manhandling a woman's breasts at a signing party in South Bend, Indiana, while saying "You've got great tits!"
urinating on a statue of Winnie the Pooh outside the Disneyland Hotel in Anaheim while saying, "This one's for you, Walt."

While working as a film animator and peddling his paintings in grocery store parking lots, he spent his life's savings on creating prints of his artwork. His gamble paid off, and now he has a lucrative career painting and selling originals and prints of what the L.A. Times calls "his distinctly romantic, idealized images of street scenes, lighthouses, country cottages and landscapes.... a world without sharp edges, all warm and fuzzily aglow with setting suns and streetlights and luminescent windows."

The Times said:

Critics have described Kinkade's works — with titles such as "Sunset on Lamplight Lane" and "The Garden of Prayer" — as little more than mass-produced kitsch. But that has not deterred the multitudes who pay from a few hundred dollars for paper prints to $10,000 or more for canvas editions he has signed and retouched.

"It's mainstream art, not art you have to look at to try to understand, or have an art degree to know whether it's good or not," said Mike Koligman, a longtime fan who with his wife owns Kinkade galleries in San Diego and Utah.

"This is God-given talent," another Kinkade fan said. "He is a modern-day Leonardo da Vinci or Monet. There is no one in our generation who can paint like that."

There aren't any other painters in our generation making the kind of money he is, either.

Thomas Kinkade | Mass Market Art | Kitsch

Virgin Mary on a toasted cheese sandwich sells on eBay for $28,000.00

2006-03-05T17:17:00.000-05:00

Insane. That's what people are.

Twenty-eight grand for a ten-year old toasted cheese sandwich?

Looks more like Marilyn Monroe to me....

Beware

2006-02-28T03:32:00.000-05:00

From "Taking Flight." by Father Anthony de Mello (1931-1987), Jesuit priest, reprinted at Church of the Churchless and The Burning Taper

The priest announced that Jesus Christ himself was coming to church the following Sunday. People turned up in large numbers to see him. Everybody expected him to preach, but he only smiled when introduced and said, "Hello."

Everyone offered him hospitality for the night, especially the priest, but he refused politely. He said he would spend the night in church. How fitting, everybody thought.

He slipped away early next morning before the church doors were opened. And, to their horror, the priest and people found their church had been vandalized. Scribbled everywhere on the walls was the single word, "Beware."

No part of the church was spared: the doors and windows, the pillars and the pulpit, the altar, even the Bible that rested on the lectern. "Beware." Scratched in large letters and in small, in pencil and pen and paint of every conceivable color. Wherever the eye rested one could see the words: "Beware, beware, Beware, Beware, beware, beware...."

Shocking. Irritating. Confusing. Fascinating. Terrifying. What were they supposed to beware of? It did not say. It just said "Beware."

The first impulse of the people was to wipe out every trace of this defilement, this sacrilege. They were restrained from doing this only by the thought that it was Jesus himself who had done this deed. Now that mysterious word "Beware" began to sink into the minds of the people each time they came to church.

They began to beware of the Scriptures, so they were able to profit from the Scriptures without falling into bigotry. They began to beware of sacraments, so they were sanctified without becoming superstitious. The priest began to beware of his power over the people, so he was able to help without controlling.

And everybody began to beware of religion which leads the unwary to self-righteousness. They became law-abiding, yet compassionate to the weak. They began to beware of prayer, so it no longer stopped them from becoming self-reliant. They even began to beware of their notions of God so they were able to recognize him outside the narrow confines of their church.

They have now inscribed the shocking word over the entrance of their church and as you drive past at night you can see it blazing above the church in multicolored neon lights.

Jesus Christ | Anthony de Mello | Catholic Church

Jesus is a sheetmetal worker

2006-02-27T15:34:00.000-05:00

It just doesn't stop! Another Jesus-face imagined up by the masses, and sold to the masses. This one is in an oil stain on a piece of sheet metal. The bid on eBay is already up to $362. Act now, before another Jesus-face shows up and ruins the value of this collector's item!

Sheesh. At least in the good old days, the letters S-E-X really were in the advertisements!

Know thyself

2006-02-27T01:12:00.000-05:00

"When you recognize that there is a voice in your head that pretends to be you and never stops speaking, you are awakening out of your unconscious identification with the stream of thinking. When you notice that voice, you realize that who you are is not the voice — the thinker — but the one who is aware of it.

"Knowing yourself as the awareness behind the voice is freedom." — Eckart Tolle

The Devil you say?

2006-02-25T13:37:00.000-05:00

"If you will but worship me, all will be yours." — Luke 4:7

Apparently, if you're going to quote the Bible, you should have actually read it first.

The St. James United Church of Christ of Limerick, Pennsylvania, recently posted the above Bible verse on their website, surely with the intention of steering sinning websurfers right into Jesus's outstretched arms.

Only one problem — the above verse is a quote from Satan, spoken by him to Jesus during the 40-days-in-the-desert-temptation scene right after Jesus's baptism.

In the fourth century and again from 1100-1400 A.D., gnostics and later the Albigensians were burned at the stake for the heresy of suggesting that Jehovah was really the Devil, the God of "this world," and that a higher God ruled over Him.

St. James' church retracted and apologized for the error later on their website, but not before a few bloggers noticed the, uh, misquote.

To their credit, and in spite of their lack of Biblical reading ability, St. James sounds like a cooler-than-usual church, judging from their top ten list, which touts their variety and their acceptance of alternative lifestyles. They call themselves "God's Party Church."

Holy Hotties buy lap dances for Jesus: J.C.'s GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS!

2006-02-21T15:03:00.000-05:00

She's a self-proclaimed Holy Hottie. Ex-stripper Heather Veitch still works the topless bars, but not as a dancer. She works for Jesus now, you see.

Vietch, a 31-year-old married mother of two, is a co-founder with two other women, Tanya and Lori, of her own ministry, J.C.'s Girls Girls Girls. Veitch even pays for lap dances, so she can talk to the strippers about God.

A former Las Vegas stripper, when Veitch became a Christian she started sharing her faith with her former co-workers.

Her ministry's website features glamour shots of Veitch and her two partners, taken by a porn director. The website “almost” looks like a porn site; some of the shots of the three women are quite provocative, but they appear clothed, some shots showing a bit of cleavage, some shots in very tight T-shirts with the JC's Girls Girls Girls logo imprinted.

They attend porn conventions, where they pass out Bibles wrapped in T-shirts that read Holy Hottie.

The 1,700-member Sandals Church of Riverside, California has donated $50,000 to the JC's Girls Girls Girls ministry.

In addition to visiting strip clubs and porn conventions, the ministry operates Matthew's House in Riverside, a ministry for sex industry workers and those “addicted to pornography.”

Veitch said strippers and porn stars don't have to quit their jobs before entering a church. She said, "Do we ask gluttons to stop eating too much before they come to church?" She added, "sin is sin."

Photos: Heather, Lori and Tanya, in that order.

JC's Girls Girls Girls | Strippers | Salvation

Heather Veitch | Matthew's House | Jesus Christ

Satan at the Olympics?

2006-02-21T00:35:00.000-05:00

ESPN and Mercury News are writing news articles about the Devil at the Olympics, The Burning Taper blog reports. Is sports so boring these days that supposedly legitimate news organizations have to resort to lame-o stories attributing an athlete's failure to meet a bus to Satanic intervention?

What are you people thinking?

2006-02-21T00:08:00.000-05:00

A 23-year old man tried to commit suicide by nailing himself to a cross. He got one hand nailed down, then realized he couldn't nail the other without the other hand, so he called 911.

Jesus has been spotted on a church door. And in Cleveland, on a clipboard!

Here's a list of Jesus sightings dating back to 1978... once even seen in a Pizza Hut ad in a plate of spaghetti. And on screen doors and fish sticks! Jeez, people are crazy.

Pictures and images are one thing — but walking around in the flesh, too? Boston... San Francisco... Sturgin, South Dakota... on TV's recently cancelled "Book of Daniel."

And Mother Mary... people see her even more than Her Son. What's up with that? Ebay's got a jellybean with her impression on it, even. And a plate. And a freakin' bump on a chicken egg! Ho boy!

Are people this stupid? This gullible? Do they just want to believe in something SO bad that they'll believe anything?

Why don't you believe in yourselves?

Please allow me to introduce myself

2006-02-07T23:47:00.000-05:00

I'm the small voice inside you. We're all connected. Everyone of us can hear me. It's just that not a lot of us listen to me. I am with you always. I'm not only with you...

...I am you.

Lest you think I'm just mumbo-jumbo'ing here, give this a think. Here's who I'm not:

I'm not a white-robed, Ted-Neeley-as-Superstar with hippie hair and a soft brown beard, or any other image you've built up in your mind or hung on the walls of your churches or painted onto black velvet like some Elvis.

I'm not the poster child or the spokesman for the Catholics, Lutherans, Mormons, Baptists, Branch Davidians, or any other cult.

I'm not the King of the Jews or the Prince of Pop or the Knight of Wands.

I'm not some angry god coming back to reward one group with Heaven and to damn another group to Hell.

I am simply this — All There Is. Consciousness. Knowing Itself. Here. Now.

I don't give a flying figtree about churches or steeples or hymns or prayer meetings or whether you tithe to a preacher or how long your hair is or who you're sleeping with or what doctrine you think is "the way." The way is simply to be here now.

Forget the past. All those things you worry yourself silly over — religion, politics, what so-and-so did to you last week, what your parents did or didn't for you when you were a child, what Ruth Ann said behind your back about you last week to Susie. It doesn't matter. The past isn't Now.

Forget the future. Forget the what-ifs. The fears. The worries. The oh-no! in the night terrors. Just let it go. The future isn't Now.

Be. Here. Now.