'Far East Side Story': Rival Buddhist monk gangs rumble in the street

To dispel the myth that Buddhist monks sit around all day meditating on their navels, rival gangs of Vietnamese and Cambodian monks tried to put a little whoop-ass on each other in Cambodia on Friday. I can't help but think of the movie West Side Story when I think of these monks in flowing orange robes smacking each other around.

I don't even pretend to understand what their beef is with each other. You can read the story yourself, or just look at the pictures.

I hear ya snapping your fingers and singing to yourself, "When you're a Jet...." Me too.

Duh-NA-NA-na-nah....

Buddhism | Buddhist Monks | Vietnam | Cambodia | Religious Tolerance | Born Jesus

Miami pastor sports '666' tattoo; claims to be Antichrist, 'the best person in the world'

Previously posted on Feb. 19. Moved back to the top to reflect the 4/19/07 update.

Just what we need, another reincarnation of Jesus Christ.

And of course, like the Original, this one is pissing off other religious leaders. He's already being compared to Jim Jones and David Koresh, though no one's drinking Kool-Aid® or marrying eleven-year olds quite yet.

Not only does Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda, or "Daddy" as his thousands of followers call him, sport a "666" tattoo, he claims to be God.

"The spirit that is in me is the same spirit that was in Jesus of Nazareth," de Jesus says.

The "mark of the devil" and a God-complex.... Ah, the Pharisees and Sadduces, the Catholics and the Baptists will all have a field day with this man. Already branded as a "cult-leader" by cult experts Rick Ross and Prof. Daniel Alvarez, de Jesus is poised to soon become famous. He has appeared on CNN's Anderson Cooper 360 [watch video on YouTube] recently, and NBC's Today Show (where he referred to himself as "Jesus Christ Man") several months ago. CNN published yet another article about him today.

De Jesus is proud of his 666 tattoo, saying not only has the Anti-Christ been misunderstood, but that he is the Anti-Christ. The Antichrist is not the devil, de Jesus tells his congregation; he's the being who replaces Jesus on Earth.

"Antichrist is the best person in the world," he says. "Antichrist means don't put your eyes on Jesus because Jesus of Nazareth wasn't a Christian. Antichrist means do not put your eyes on Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Put it on Jesus after the cross."

Apparently his particular "vision" is working. He was born poor in Puerto Rico 61 years ago, has survived prisons stints for petty theft, and is a former heroin addict. His church, which boasts "thousands of members in more than 30 countries," pays him a $136,000 per year salary. He sports Rolex watches and drives BMWs and Lexuses, which he says are gifts from members. He formed the group "Growing in Grace" in the 1980s, after his 1973 epiphany in which the resurrected Christ "integrated himself within me."

His church members love him. Last week, 30 of them gathered in Miami to go en masse to a tattoo parlor to get their very own "666" tats.

UPDATE Thurs., April 19: The Central American nations of El Salvador, Guatemala and Honduras have banned Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda from entering their countries. Miranda was scheduled to be in Guatemala on April 21 and 22 to celebrate his 61st birthday with his followers. Thanks to Jennifer Emick at altreligion.about.com for the heads-up on this update.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Growing in Grace | Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda | Born Jesus

I saw Jesus in the sky!

You'd think if Jesus wanted His name painted across the sky He would do it Himself.

But since He hasn't, Jerry Stevens of Holy Smoke, Inc., of south central Florida, is doing it for Him.

This photo was taken by a blogger at Distant Creations who was visiting Disney World recently. There was a smiley face, too, that he said didn't fit into the camera frame. Commenters at his blog say that ol' Jerry is up there most every weekend — so often that locals pay him no attention — burning gas for God.

You can probably hire Jerry to annoy the pagans and granfalloon the Christians at Disney World or other Florida attractions during your vacation by visiting his website. There's also a link there that, according to its title, you can click on to "accept God's Love."

Sources: Distant Creations and BoingBoing

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Skywriting | Disney World | Born Jesus

Blogswarm Against Theocracy

Last weekend's Blogswarm Against Theocracy seems like it was a modest success. Several hundred bloggers typed up a a storm swarm.

My friend the Widow's Son at the Burning Taper blog left a trail of interesting rants and articles about theocracy in America. Check 'em out:

• Blogs Against Theocracy: 'We're not gonna take it!'
• Get your theocracy off my democracy: America is not a Christian nation
  
• Statue of Liberation through Christ: Does it honor God, or is it just a ridiculous eyesore?
• List of blogs that participated in the Blogswarm Against Theocracy
• Onward Christian Lawyers: Pat Robertson's law school grads fill Dept. of Justice

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Blogswarm Against Theocracy | Theocracy | Born Jesus

Then I guess I'll have a beer

The Coca-Cola Company doesn't mind placing its logo in the hands of hundreds of various movie characters, unless his name happens to be Jesus.

The Italian film Seven Kilometers from Jerusalem has been pulled from its scheduled release today, after Coke lawyers complained that the modern-day Jesus depicted in the movie drinking their product gives the company a bad image.

"We are not interested in this kind of product placement," a Coca-Cola Italia spokeswoman said.

The film will be re-edited, and should be released before the end of April, Variety reported.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Coca-Cola | Movies | Born Jesus

Sweet Jesus! Chocolate Christ art exhibit canceled after Catholics protest

Sweet Jesus!

A New York hotel has canceled an exhibit of a giant naked chocolate Jesus, the AP reported.

The Catholic League or Religious and Civil Rights had called for a boycott of the hotel, which had planned the event to correspond with Holy Week.

The hotel canceled the showing, and issued a statement saying the threat was "crystal clear and has brought to our attention the unintended reaction of you and other conscientious friends of ours to the exhibition of Cosimo Cavallaro.... We have caused the cancellation of the exhibition and wish to affirm the dignity and responsibility of the hotel in all its affairs," the statement said.

The director of the art gallery that was to set up the display admitted the hotel did not know the chocolate Christ was to be exhibited, but said the artwork was not irreverent.

"It's intended as a meditation on the Holy Week," Matthew Semler said of the sculpture.

The news report says the artwork is called "My Sweet Lord," but the artist's website lists its title as "I did it daddy."

Image: "I did it daddy," from the artist's website.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Chocolate Christ | Art | Born Jesus

If Jesus invited Moroni over for coffee, would the angel say no?

The Mormon church has trademarked the angel Moroni, or so they claim. I guess they can have him; they're the ones who made him up, after all, aren't they?

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, a.k.a. The Mormons, have gotten their halos in a twitch over a t-shirt produced by two coffee-sellin' joes that shows the Moronic Angel swilling coffee through his trumpet.

Taylorville, Utah "Just Add Coffee" coffee shop co-owner Ed Beazer said he and partner Van Lidell have been using the Moroni symbol for about a year, and added it to the back of a now-best-selling t-shirt around Christmas. On March 9, they ran a print ad locally featuring the logo, and promptly heard from the LDS Church's attorneys, the Deseret News reported.

Can you imagine the panic in the streets when Jesus returns and demands licensing fees for all the abuse His Name has taken in the past 2,000 years? All the people who've said "Jesus H. (or F***ing) Christ!" as an interjection and all the Hispanics who've named their children after Jesus will probably get off with just a warning, perhaps even a touch on the face or a pat on the head.

It's all those preachers and ministers and priests and popes who've been b.s.ing us for two millenia, saying "Jesus spoke to me!" and "Jesus wants you to [fill in the blank]!", who are going to catch Hell.

Church of Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Mormons | Moroni | Born Jesus

Rev. Ron Saunders channels Jesus!

A city manager for Largo, Florida recently came out of the closet and announced he was planning to have a sex change operation, the Sun-Sentinel reported.

The town held a hearing with plans to fire Steve (soon to be Susan) Stanton from the job he had held for 14 years.

As you might expect, the council voted to fire him.

Townspeople packed the city hall for the meeting.

"If Jesus was here tonight, I can guarantee you he'd want him terminated," said Pastor Ron Saunders of Largo's Lighthouse Baptist Church. "Make no mistake about it."

Who died and made him Jesus' spokesman?

Not content just to show his supernatural ability to channel Jesus, Saunders, who is the pastor of a church with thirty — count 'em, thirty! — members showed his knowledge of biology and psychology by adding, "He's not going to be a man, and he's not going to be a female. He's going to be an 'it.' It's going to be the most sorrowful decision he has ever made."

Stanton is married, with a 13-year-old son. He says he's wanted to be a woman ever since he was a child.

Image: A very feminine-looking Jesus tiptoeing across the Sea of Galilee

Additional links:
Video of Stanton's speech to the council, from the St. Petersburg Times
The Florida Masochist
Sticks of Fire
Alien Intelligencer
The Delightful Yank
Blurbex
Pushing Rope

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Rev. Ron Saunders | Steve Stanton | Born Jesus

What bank would Jesus use?

A 21-year old man was arrested Monday after he tried to cash a check for $50,000 at the Chase Bank in Hobart that was signed "King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant," the AP reported.

Kevin Russell had several other checks with him that were signed the same way but made out in different dollar amounts, including one for $100,000.

He was charged with one count of attempted check fraud and one count of intimidation, both felonies, and one count of resisting law enforcement, a misdemeanor.

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Crime | Really Stupid People | Born Jesus

Priest and nuns sentenced to prison after botched crucifixion/exorcism

A priest and four nuns were sentenced to prison yesterday for their roles in the death of a nun during an exorcism to rid her of "the devil," Ireland Online reported today.

Sister Maricica Irina Cornici, 23, who was being treated for schizophrenia, said she believed the devil was talking to her.

Daniel Petru Corogeanu, a monk who served as the priest for a secluded Holy Trinity convent in northeast Romania, and four other nuns, chained Cornici to a cross in an attempt at exorcism.

She survived several days without food or water, but died of dehydration, exhaustion and suffocation.

"God has performed a miracle for her, finally Irina is delivered from evil," the priest told reporters back in June, 2005 when this crime occurred.

"I don't understand why journalists are making such a fuss about this. Exorcism is a common practice in the heart of the Romanian Orthodox church and my methods are not at all unknown to other priests," Father Daniel added.

What is it about religion that makes people so damn crazy? How do certain illogical beliefs become so all-encompassing that you'll willingly place yourself in a position to kill like this, or to be killed like this?

Image: Father Daniel Petru Corogeanu

Jesus Christ | Christian | Christianity | Exorcism | Crucifixion | Born Jesus

Las Vegas priest assaults church worker

George Chaanine, a Roman Catholic priest was arrested Thursday in Arizona after allegedly beating, groping and choking a member of his congregation and church employee at his Las Vegas church, CNN reported.

The alleged assault occured on Jan. 26 at the Our Lady of Las Vegas parish office.

He has been charged wtih attempted murder, sexual assault, kidnapping and battery with a deadly weapon. He allegedly broke a full bottle of wine over the woman's head and dragged her down a hall by her hair.

She fought back, lost consciousness and awoke with Chaanine groping her breasts and genitals, police said. She continued fighting until Chaanine straddled her and grabbed her throat, police said.

The woman said she began praying, and the priest stopped his assault and said he was going to kill himself, and left.

Chaanine has been suspended with pay from his position as church administrative pastor.

Jesus Christ | Christian |Catholic Church | George Chaanine | Christianity | Sex | Born Jesus